


Oxford Tales

by curlsgetdemgurls, julesbeauchamp



Category: Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: F/M, Modern AU, Outlander - Freeform, Set in Oxford, jamie x claire, meeting as children
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-06-20 18:14:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15540087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlsgetdemgurls/pseuds/curlsgetdemgurls, https://archiveofourown.org/users/julesbeauchamp/pseuds/julesbeauchamp
Summary: James Fraser has been in love with Claire Beauchamp since they both were seven years old but she’s been quite clueless about it. It’s the story of their lives intertwined, over the years, in the little town of Oxford.





	1. Beginnings

“Claire, love” Lambert’s voice resonated in the staircase “You’re going to be late for the museum trip if you don’t come out of your room now”

Lambert Beauchamp wore many hats, an archaeologist, a professor at Oxford University, a lover of nature and books and his favourite one, Claire Beauchamp’s legal guardian and uncle. 

A bachelor, then, he wasn’t ready to take on his niece’s education when at only four years old, she had lost her parents in a car crash but he did not have much of a choice, he was the only family she had left. His brother had been his best friend and he couldn’t let him down by leaving his only daughter to strangers. Constantly on the road, once Claire was old enough to start primary school, Lamb had decided to settle in the charming town of Oxford and accepted a position at the university. The stability was good for both him and his niece.

At seven years old Claire walked downstairs slowly, a defeated look on her face and a brush stuck in her mass of curls. “This is the third time this week, I can’t go to school with a brush stuck in my hair like this.”

“Oh Claire, how many times do I have to tell you how pointless it is to try and brush curly hair?” Lamb said with an amused smile. “Come here, little Medusa”

“Uncle, I don’t think calling me Medusa is a compliment” She crossed her arms, looking at him. With an archaeologist as an uncle, Claire spent her time reading about mythology and history instead of castles and prince charming.

“Is it not? She is a very powerful force, dear” He smiled, carefully untangling the mess on Claire’s head.

“If you say so…She did freeze people with a stare, though” Claire said half convinced “Ouch!”

“Sorry, love. It’s almost out” Lamb said, placing a kiss on the top of her head  “So, are you excited to go to Pitt Rivers with your class?”

“Of course! You know it’s my favourite place” She giggled, looking up at him. “And I like my classmates, everyone is really nice”

“I’m glad to hear that. One of my colleague’s son is in your class, Jamie Fraser? Scottish lad with red hair.”

“Ah. Yes.” She let out a small sigh.

“What is it?” Lamb asked, curious.

“I don’t like Jamie.”

“Why not?” Lamb looked down at his niece with a raised eyebrow “Is he mean to you?”

Claire shook her head “His accent is really funny but he always annoys me, not in a mean way just…I don’t know, he always tries to grab my attention by doing stupid things like throwing a ball of paper at me.”

“I see” Lamb grinned, finally releasing the brush from its hell that was Claire’s hair “And it’s done. Now, grab your coat and we’re on our way!”

Claire put on her mustard duffle coat and took her little satchel before walking out, holding Lamb’s hand. The museum wasn’t far from their cottage and the gorgeous autumn day called for a walk there. “Is mister Raymond still coming for dinner tonight, uncle?” Claire asked as they made their way to the museum.

“Yes, love” Lamb smiled at the mere mention of Raymond’s name.

“I like him, he promised he would teach me how to speak french last time he visited. I can already say Bonjour!” Claire exclaimed proudly.

Lamb grinned “You are a fast learner so I believe in a few months you’ll be fluent!”

“Is he going to live with us? I saw you two kiss goodbye the other night” She giggled, looking at her uncle blushing. “I think he loves you very much”

“And I love him very much too, who knows, maybe one day he will live with us?”

“I know he will” Claire grinned, curls bouncing on her head as they walked. “Remind me to pick up those little purple flowers when we get home. Do you know what they are?” She pointed.

“Forget-me-not” Lamb said with a smile.

____

“James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser, ye’re going to be late for the museum ye wee daftie!” Brian shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

“I was just finishing my porridge” Jamie appeared in the hall, walking out of the kitchen. At only seven, he was already taller than most kids of his age. “Ye dinna need to yell ” He mumbled, putting on his coat and tartan scarf.

“Aye, I thought ye were upstairs is all” Brian smiled, taking his bag.  “Let’s go lad” He patted his son’s head and they made their way outside. “Are ye excited for the day trip?”

Jamie shrugged, walking “It’s just some stuffed animals and bones, Da.”

Brian chuckled “I canna fault ye there, son”

They walked quietly for a time before Jamie looked at his father, a serious expression on his face “Da, I think I am in love”

Brian smiled amused “Are ye now,? And who’s the lucky lass?”

“It’s Claire Beauchamp” Jamie mumbled, kicking a rock with his foot while they walked.

“Lamb’s niece?” Brian raised an eyebrow with a grin at the thought of the witty curly head. “She’s a verra nice lass” He said as they arrived at the museum.

“Aye, she is da,” Jamie said, his eyes immediately attracted to Claire, like a magnet. She stood next to her uncle,  deep in conversation with him, hands moving in the air and curls bouncing on her head. Jamie remembered the first time he had seen her – on the first day of school. She wasn’t dressed like the other girls with floral dresses and bows in their hair. She was wearing brown wool checked pants and a red sweater. Until that day, Jamie found girls disgusting – always whining and crying – but something about Claire Beauchamp was different.

His father gave him a firm pat on the shoulder and Jamie looked up at his face to see his mischievous grin. “Go and talk to her, son. Say good morning and such.” Brian persuaded Jamie and with another gentle nudge, Jamie put one foot in front of the other and made his way over to Claire Beauchamp.

He cleared his throat before speaking, “Hello, Claire” he smiled and then offered his small hand out to Lamb, “Good morning mister Lamb, hope you’re doing okay.”

Mister Lamb shook his hand with a firm grip, “Yes son, I’m doing very okay,” he smiled and reached out to tousle Jamie’s red hair. He saw Claire make a disgusted face and that made his heartache. “Are you excited for today, Claire?”

She pursed her small lips, “Yes, James.” Seems like she would be a hard nut to crack.

“‘Tis good, I’m verra excited about seein’ all the animals and bones,” he lied, what he was excited about was being close to Claire.

More of their class arrived and they both waved goodbye to Jamie’s da and Claire’s uncle as their teachers pushed them into two straight lines, boys on one side, girls on the other.

Their teacher, Mrs Fitzgibbons raised her voice to talk to the class who was now lined up two by two, “Alright dearies, the person yer standin’ next to is yer partner for the whole day.” Jamie couldn’t believe it, him and Claire would have to be side by side all day!

“And when we walk through the museum, ye must hold yer partners hand the whole time, ye understand?” She asked and Jamie’s heart almost burst out of his chest.

“Aye,” the class chanted. Jamie looked over at Claire to see her reaction to the news and she had her face turned the opposite direction, all he could see was her mass of brown curls.  _Mo nighean donn._ He put his hand out to touch a stray curl but pulled it back quickly as she turned her head. “You may hold my hand today, James because that’s the rule but don’t get any funny ideas in that head of yours,” Claire said and held her small hand for him to take.

Jamie was afraid his hand would be sweaty from nerves so he quickly wiped his palm on the front of his jeans before taking Claire’s hand. She held his hand loosely and as much as he wanted to grip it tight and never let go, he wanted to respect Claire.

“Stay in line, everyone!” Mrs Fitz said and started walking up the stairs to the big doors of the museum. Jamie couldn’t care less about what was going on around him, the sore feeling of Claire’s hand in his was enough to make him content. She made him nervous, afraid to say something stupid and his stomach was tight into a knot.

“I come here all the time with my uncle,” Claire said out of the blue, looking around the place. “He’s an archaeologist”

“I came once wi’ my da” Jamie told her even if she didn’t ask.

Claire absently held his hand tighter and butterflies flew free in his stomach. “Do you have siblings?” She asked, looking at him.

“Aye, a big sister Jenny and a big brother Willie. My ma and da both work wi’ yer uncle”

“I know, he told me that,” Claire confessed. 

“Why do you live with him?”

“Because my parents had an accident and died when I was even more little”

“Oh,” Jamie looked at her, cursing himself. “I’m sorry” He mumbled looking down.

“You didn’t know” She shrugged, squeezing his hand for reassurance. “And my uncle is really cool, we have a cat, Adso. Uncle Lamb also makes really nice cakes, you should come one day to eat some”

Jamie looked at her, incredulous “Really?”

Claire nodded and smiled, she was starting to warm up to the scot “Yes, I’m sure uncle lamb won’t mind”  

They continued the tour of the museum, hand in hand, Jamie smiling like an idiot and too busy to watch Claire to pay attention to what Mrs Fitz had to say about the various artefacts of the museum. At lunchtime, Claire had left him to his group of friends and sat alone by the stairs, eating her sandwich and reading a book. Jamie watched her, his hand still tingling with the sensation of hers and smiled absently.

“Give me your cookie, Beauchamp” Jack Randall said to Claire, hitting his hand on her book.

“Leave me alone” Claire picked up her book.

“Not until you give me your cookie”  Jack crossed his arms, looking down at her.

Jamie saw Jack bothering her and decided he better do something about it so he left his friends and went to the aid of Claire.

“Leave her alone, Jack, she doesna want ye here.” He said, his small fists clenched.

“I want her cookie, Fraser, I won’t leave until she gives it to me,” Jack stared down Jamie.

Claire put her book aside and picked up her cookie, wiping her tongue all over it and held it out for Jack, “Here, now do you want it?” she smirked and Jamie couldn’t help but laugh.

Jack huffed and stormed off, leaving Jamie and Claire laughing after him.

“That was verra funny, Claire!” Jamie sat down beside her, picking up her book from the step and handing it to her.

“Thanks,” her cheeks turned a slight shade of pink. “Jack’s a big loser, this cookie is oatmeal raisin anyway, who would want it?”

“I’ll take it,” Jamie held out his hand and Claire grimaced.

“You want this cookie? The one that I licked? That is disgusting!” She laughed but put the cookie into his hand and watched as he took a bite.

“Yum! Best cookie I ever ate.” Jamie grinned with a mouthful. 

“You’re so weird, Jamie Fraser.”

“Right back at ye, Claire Beauchamp.” Jamie smiled, and took another small bite of the cookie, he honestly hated oatmeal raisin but he wanted to make Claire laugh.

“Claire, can I ask ye a question?”

“Sure.”

“Can we be best friends? Always have each other’s backs and all?”

Claire paused, looking at her hands in her lap and then up at Jamie, “I’d like that very much, Jamie. But on one condition.” She pointed her finger at him.

“Aye, anything.” He felt giddy inside, Claire was his best friend!

“You have to promise to never make fun of me and I’ll do the same. No more teasing me for my big hair,” she waved her hand upwards.

“Aye, I can do that. As long as ye invite me over to yer house wi’ yer uncle for those wee cakes, I love a good cake.” Jamie smiled.

“You’ve got yourself a new best friend then,” Claire offered him his hand and he took it, shaking it, making a pact that he would keep for the rest of his life.

“For life, sassenach?” Jamie looked at her whisky eyes.

“ _For life_ ” Claire smiled and kissed his cheek. She was clueless but at that moment, his knees almost gave in.  


	2. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our seven years old have grown up a tiny bit in this one and things got a little more complicated…

 

 

_Best friends forever._

Ten years on and the promises two seven year olds had made to one another was still standing _– stronger than ever._  Over the years, Claire became part of the Fraser family while Jamie’s love for her grew more and more with every memory they created together. From their school trip to Paris to the time Claire broke her arm and Jamie fed her soup or just their everyday lives intertwined closely by an unbreakable bond –  _they were linked for life._

“Are ya going to watch Claire forever or ye will finally tell her ye love her, ye daftie?” Jenny Fraser asked with crossed arms and a raised eyebrow at her brother.

“What?” Jamie frowned, reluctantly taking his eyes off Claire who was busy unpacking flowers from Lamb’s car. Since the Fraser’s and Beauchamp’s became friends years ago, Brian thought the Scottish estate was the perfect place to celebrate Lamb and Raymond’s wedding.

“Ye ken what I said, brother” Jenny snorted amusedly. “It’s really cute to see ye heart eyes and all for Claire but it’s been like that for ten years now, ye dinna think it’s time to make a move?”

“Janet stop wi’ yer nonsense. I’m no’ in love with Claire, she’s my best friend.”

“And I’m the queen of England, aye.” Jenny rolled her eyes. “I ken she was yer first kiss.”

 

 

> _“Just one kiss and we never talk about it again okay?” Claire asked as they both stood in the closet for the “7 minutes in heaven.”_
> 
> _“Aye, dinna worry Sassenach” Jamie was glad she couldn’t see him very well because the tips of his ears were bright red and his hands were sweaty as hell._
> 
> _“I don’t even know why we agreed to play that stupid game” Claire, thirteen years old, wondered, reaching up to touch his face in the dark “You’re way too tall Jamie, I’ll need you to lean down a bit.”_
> 
> _Jamie leaned down without a warning and bumped his head against her nose._
> 
> _“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Jamie!”_
> 
> _“Oh god I’m sorry Claire!”_
> 
> _“I think I’ve broken my nose” She mumbled, holding her nose._
> 
> _“Are ye bleeding?” Jamie asked worried._
> 
> _“No I don’t think so” Claire patted around her nose, with no sign of wetness. “No I’m not.”_
> 
> _“Then it’s no’ broken, Sassenach. I’m sorry again, ye ken we dinna have to do it for real, we can simply tell them we did and be over wi’…”_
> 
> _Jamie was interrupted by her lips pressing against his chastely and he shut up._
> 
> _“I never lie Jamie.”_
> 
> _“Aye, I ken.”_

“She was my first kiss because we were playing a game and it wasna a verra sexy kiss if ye want to ken everything, Janet.”

“But you’re dying for one, brother, are ye no’?” Jenny asked with a grin “Not that it’s any of my business, I’m just trying to help here.”

“Weel go help somewhere else, aye?” Jamie suggested, annoyed. He knew his sister was right but he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction of knowing it. “ There are still things to do before the wedding tomorrow and it needs to be perfect for Lamb and Raymond.”

“Ye need to get laid, James Fraser!” With those words, Jenny walked back inside the house, leaving her brother cursing himself on the step of the front door.

“Jamie!” Claire called with a smile, arms full of flowers and curls desperately trying to escape her tight bun “Could you please help me with that? Just take the rest and follow me to the barn.”  

“Aye, of course!” Hurrying to her, Jamie took the last flowers from the car and smiled, following her. Claire Beauchamp wasn’t seven years old anymore and Jamie saw the difference very well. She was starting to grow into the most beautiful young woman, with the roundest arse he had ever seen and the skin of an angel. His hands itched to touch her, his tongue to taste her and his mouth to tell her just how much he loved her.

“Here will be fine,” Claire said stopping and interrupting his thoughts while she deposited the flowers on the table.

“Oh, aye” Jamie did the same and watched her “Ye have a wee branch here” With a smile, he removed the branch trapped in her hair, making her giggle.

“Thank you” she smiled “This wedding is going to be perfect tomorrow and I’m really glad it’s at Lallybroch. Uncle Lamb told me last night how happy he was about it all”

“I canna wait to be tomorrow and celebrate wi’ everyone.”

“Me either!”

“But for now ye’ve been running around all day, I think ye deserve a wee dram in the treehouse.”

“James Fraser, you always know how to read my mind” Claire wrapped her arms around his neck and held him tightly “I’ll wait for you there!”

“I’ll be right there” Jamie kissed the top of her head and smiled, never wanting to let her go from his arms.

_Dammit, Jenny!_

Claire smiled and disappeared from the barn quickly to make her way to the treehouse  _– their treehouse –_   Brian had made for them one summer at Lallybroch when they were ten years old. It had become their secret place where they camped on hot summer nights, got drunk for the very time away from everyone and tried to smoke pot.

Claire sat in the treehouse and watched Lallybroch from afar, her heart bursting at the sight. She felt at home here, with Jamie and his family and of course her uncles and Joe. Each summer spent in Scotland had been perfect.

“I have the supplies, sassenach” Jamie appeared a few minutes later with a proud grin on his face and sat down next to her.

Claire looked at him, her mouth curling up into a smile “Just a wee dram though, I can’t be hungover tomorrow or Joe won’t shut up about it” She chuckled, taking the glass he was offering her.

“Dinna fash, I’m no’ trying to make ye drunk” He chuckled and sipped his own drink “Even if the thought of Joe teasing ye all day tomorrow is quite tempting”

Claire laughed “Well, you know he would. He does it all the time!”

“That’s what siblings are for, Beauchamp” Jamie grinned “Ye should be used to it by now, what has it been, seven years?”

Claire nodded, sipping her drink and smiled at the thought “Yes, seven years since he arrived. I guess my uncles do everything in reverse, first the adoption and then the marriage”

 

 

> _“Do you think he will like me? What if he doesn’t?” Claire asked worried as she was waiting with uncle Raymond for Lamb to come home with Joe, the little american boy they had adopted._
> 
> _“Claire, you’re his big sister, how could he not like you?”_
> 
> _“I don’t know, could be plenty of reasons!”_
> 
> _“Love, you really shouldn’t worry too much about this and instead focus on welcoming him properly okay? This is all new for him but we’ll be a family now and it always comes first.”_
> 
> _“You are right, I love him already maybe it’s the same for him” She smiled and hugged Raymond close. Claire heard the car stop and stiffened. Slowly, she turned around and watched uncle Lamb getting out of the car, followed by a little boy. After two years of paperwork, meetings with the social worker and countless other obstacles, Joe was finally part of the family._
> 
> _Claire stood at the door, holding Raymond’s hand tightly while Joe walked over to her. Born in New Orleans, he had lost his parents while he was a baby and had lived in an orphanage until Raymond went to Louisiana for a medical program and had met him. Once home, they decided to start the adoption process to bring the little boy into their unusual but perfect little family._
> 
> _“Welcome, I…am Claire” She said softly, not knowing what to do._
> 
> _“I know!” Joe smiled widely and hugged her tightly “I am really happy to be your new brother”_
> 
> _“Me too” She smiled and held him close._

Claire smiled fondly at the memory and finished her drink. They stayed in comfortable silence for a little while, simply sitting beside one another, Claire watching the sunset and Jamie watching her – the sun casting the loveliest light on her ivory skin –

“Jamie?” Claire asked softly, not looking at him.

“What’s the matter?” He could sense whenever she was tensed or nervous.

“Can I ask you something?” Finally, she turned her head and looked at him, whisky eyes piercing through him.

“Aye, always, _mo nighean donn_.”

“Wot?” She frowned.

“Eh, nothin’…what do ye want to ask me?”Jamie asked, avoiding the subject.

“Well…it’s a bit embarrassing but I feel like you are the only one I could talk to about it” She looked down at her hands. “I know we’re both virgins and I was wondering if you and I we could do it.”

“Do what?” Jamie asked, confused.

“Have sex.” She said boldly, staring straight into Jamie’s eyes.

His heart raced and he stood abruptly, looking out the small door of the treehouse, “Did Jenny put ye up to this?” Jamie peered shyly down at Claire, afraid that this was all a joke.

“No,” she shook her head, a coy smiling playing on her lips, “It’s all my idea. Why would Jenny tell me to ask you to have sex with me?”

Jamie’s eyes grew wide and he casually tried to lean against the doorframe of the treehouse but missed, his upper body crashing through the air and he landed hard on his back. Half his body hung out of the treehouse and the blood was starting to rush to his head, “Ah Dhia,” he groaned but then felt Claire’s nimble hands on his legs, gently pulling him back inside.

“You wee dolt,” she smiled, her hands reflexively cupping his cheeks as she checked his eyes for any signs of a concussion.

“Will I be alright, Doctor Beauchamp?” Jamie never wanted to move, he wanted Claire’s hands to always be on him.

Claire leaned down and placed a soft kiss to his forehead, “Yes, Jamie. You’ll survive.”

He took two deep breaths and then leaned up on his elbows, and met her stare, “So… what ye said before – about havin’ sex.”

“Will you be my first?” Claire blushed, “I trust you more than I trust anyone and I would very much like it to be with you.”

Jamie couldn’t believe it. She really was asking him to have sex with her, it was like his wildest dreams come true. But he didn’t want to seem too eager of course.

“Aye,” he smiled, and brought her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles. “I’d love to, Claire. I…I dinna want to hurt ye or anythin’ so ye must tell me as we go along how ye feel.”

“I can do that,” she smiled shyly. “As long as you promise to tell me if I’m any good at it afterwards!” She laughed which eased some of the awkward tension. Of course, Claire would be good at it… she was good at everything. “And promise me this won’t ruin our friendship?”

“Aye, I promise” He smiled faintly “When did ye think of doin’ it?”

“Tonight?” She said slowly as if she was thinking it through, “Yes, tonight. If that is good with you?”

He held back a snort, “Aye, ‘tis perfect, Claire.”

_______

For the remainder of the wedding preparation Claire’s stomach wouldn’t settle, the butterflies were flying with no chance of landing soon. She couldn’t believe she’d actually done it. In truth… it was Jenny who had told her to ask Jamie. But not as a joke.

 

 

> _They had been discussing sex and what it would be like when Claire admitted that she wanted her first time to be with someone special, that she loved and trusted._
> 
> _“Why don’t ye ask Jamie? I’m sure he’ll do it, he’s yer best friend.”_
> 
> _“Jamie? I – he’s your brother, surely you don’t want to talk about him having sex… especially not with me!” Claire felt so embarrassed but not because of the idea of doing it with Jamie, but because she was talking to his sister about it._
> 
> _“So are ye goin’ to ask him?” Jenny had said._
> 
> _Her cheeks went bright red, “Maybe. I don’t know.” She’d covered her face with her hands and ran her fingers back through her hair, “I think so. Yes.”_
> 
> Tonight would be the night she would lose her virginity and with Jamie Fraser of all people. She did love him, but not like that of course. Of course?

“Claire!” Lamb waved to her and she shook her head, clearing away thoughts of Jamie lying in bed and walked over to her uncle.

“What do you think?” She beamed up at him, proud of what they had accomplished at Lallybroch.

“Claire, I love it. It’s more beautiful than I or Raymond could have envisioned.” He hugged her tightly, “Quite the wedding planner, Claire Beauchamp.”

“Everything is pretty much done, the flowers are set, the cake is scheduled for tomorrow and the band just called a little while ago to confirm the address!” Claire hooked her arm through Lamb’s as they made their way inside, where the fresh smell of something delicious was wafting from the kitchen.

Throughout dinner, Claire kept glancing over at Jamie across the table from her. Was he as nervous as she was? She couldn’t tell but the way his voice cracked when Jenny asked him a question about school made her feel a little less worried.

The meal was over, the dishes cleaned and everyone was saying goodnight, making off to their own bedrooms. Jamie stayed back, as did Claire.

“Wait an hour,” Jamie whispered, “then come to my room.”

“Okay.” Was all Claire managed to squeak out, a fresh wave of nerves coming over her.

Jamie took her hand in his and squeezed it tightly as they walked up the stairs and down the hall to their separate bedrooms, “Dinna be scarit, it’s the two of us, Claire.”

She left him with a kiss to his cheek, returning to her room. Jamie watched her close the door and entered his room, immediately rushing to clean up the mess of his clothes on the floor. Why had he said to come to his room? It was a disaster and he wanted everything to be perfect!

“Ye wee gremlin, Jamie.” He muttered to himself, pulling the sheets back over the bed and fluffing the pillows. He hoped it didn’t smell like ‘boy’ in here… of course, this wouldn’t be the first time Claire had been in his room. It would probably be the thousandth. But after this…. would everything change?

It wasn’t long before he was going to find out, soon the hour passed and he could sense the stillness of the house. A soft knock came from his door and it creaked open slowly.

“Hi,” she whispered. Usually, Claire didn’t bother knocking but she thought tonight was a bit different.

“Hello, Sassenach.” Jamie’s heart absolutely melted at the sight of her. She’d changed into pyjama shorts that curved around her arse and her breasts… Christ, she was wearing a silky tank top, the straps so wee that Jamie thought if he touched one it would break.

“Ye look beautiful, Claire.” He felt like he’d underdressed, wearing grey sweats and a plain black t-shirt. What did you wear exactly before you were supposed to have sex with your soulmate?

“You’re not so bad yourself, Fraser.” She smiled, took three small steps towards him, and he reached out his hand for her to take.

“We’ll take this as slow as ye want, at any moment ye want to stop, ye tell me, Sassenach.” He intertwined his fingers with hers and brought his other hand to push back a few curls from her face.

Claire nodded, then stared up into his blue eyes, and her heart fluttered at what she saw staring back. Pure trust and adoration.

Her hands rested on his chest, scratching lightly at his t-shirt, “I want to look at you, Jamie. Will you take this off?”

“Aye, of course.” Jamie pulled his shirt off over his head, tossing it to the side and waited as her eyes drifted over his toned chest. Suddenly he felt self-conscious, was he enough for Claire?

Feeling brave, Claire reached out both hands and put them on the waistband of his sweats, avoiding Jamie’s stare as she began to slide them off his hips, along with his boxers. The sound of his breath hitching as she pulled them completely off, made her feel like she was doing this part right.

She kept one hand pressed against his chest and walked around him slowly, her fingers leaving a trail of fire blazing against his skin where she touched him. When she came to stand before him once again, her eyes were looking down between his thighs at what was now his hard cock.

“Fair’s fair,” Jamie said, his eyes holding Claire’s steady. “Ye take off yers as well.”

With a smirk, Claire slid the straps of her top off her arms – not that it made much of a difference, Jamie thought, and reached for the hem. Her breasts were like white ivory, her wee nipples were staring back at him, hard as cherries.

“Christ,” he let out a sigh and she tried to cover herself but he stepped forward, grabbing her wrist and holding it to his chest. “No, Sassenach. Ye never need to be ashamed of the way ye look when yer wi’ me. I like ye just as ye are,” he placed a kiss on the inside of her wrist, “always.”

Pulling back her hand, Claire dipped her fingers into her pyjama shorts and slipped off the fabric. They now stood face to face, naked as the day they came.

Jamie took her hand and led her over to his freshly made bed. She sat down and then moved back until her head rested against his pillows. “Squishy,” she laughed as she held up her hands, and Jamie took them, climbing over her small body.

“I’m glad ye like my pillows, Sassenach.” He was glad the mood wasn’t too serious.

“Jamie,” Claire whispered, her hands squeezing both of his as tight as she could, “Be gentle with me.”

“Aye, I’ll be as gentle as ye need me to be, Claire. I willna hurt ye.” Jamie let go of one of her hands and lightly touched her breast, watching as she sucked in a breath, her back arching from the bed.

“I want to make ye feel good, Claire.” He slid his hand down the smooth expanse of her chest, past her navel and finally between her thighs. Christ… she was wet.

“I want to make you feel good too, Jamie.” She blushed, burying her head sideways into the pillow.

“I need a condom first,” Jamie cursed himself for almost forgetting protection and momentarily moved across the bed and opened his side drawer. He came back holding the package, his fingers clumsy as he tore it open and held out the condom.

“Um, how does that go on exactly?” Claire sat up on her elbows, suddenly feeling very comfortable with her legs wide open and Jamie on his knees between them.

“How should I know, Sassenach, it’s no’ like I have much experience wi’ these wee things,” he laughed and attempted to roll on the condom. Claire sat up, her hands reaching towards his cock and he stilled.

“I can help,” she said quietly, Jamie didn’t dare move as her hands replaced his, fumbling, trying to roll the condom on.

“I don’t really know if it’s on properly,” she sighed, noticing that Jamie had stopped breathing altogether and let go of him. “Sorry,” Claire blushed.

“No, ‘tis fine.” Jamie adjusted the condom, it looked like it should. “I just… yer hands – Sassenach, I thought my heart was goin’ to burst.”

Claire laughed then, her head hitting against the pillows below her, “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, Jamie! I thought I’d done something wrong or hurt you.”

“The only thing hurtin’ me at the moment is this terrible cockstand I’ve got because of ye.” At the mention of his cock, their laughter was replaced with a comfortable silence as their eyes locked and the reality of their situation hit them. It was now or never.

“Are ye ready then?” Jamie lowered his body in between Claire’s legs, moving one hand to grip hers and the other pushed against the bed to hold himself up.

“Yes. I’m ready, Jamie.” Claire squeezed his hand, staring into his eyes as he pressed forward slowly.

It was indescribable. The way he felt inside of her. Claire let out a squeak she didn’t even know she could make, moving her hand to grip Jamie’s shoulder.

Claire knew the first time would hurt a little, that much she had asked Jenny about. But she didn’t expect it to also feel… so good. Perhaps it was Jamie. The way he held her and cared for her.

He kissed her nose, as he began to move his hips forward, pressing even deeper. “Christ,” he sighed, his breath warm on her face. Claire squeezed her lips together to keep silent, afraid to wake the rest of the house. As Jamie thrust slowly a few more times, her mind became fuzzy and she felt tingles spasm throughout her body.

“Claire,” Jamie called her name out, his forehead pressing against hers and he stilled his movements above her.

The only sound in the room was their mixed heavy breathing, and slowly Jamie pulled out of her, careful as he then rolled in the bed to lay next to her.

Claire looked over at him, his eyes glazed over, staring at the ceiling, his fingers drumming against his chest. “Well – was it like you thought it would be?”

He let out a contented sigh and turned his head on the pillow, “Aye, Sassenach.” His finger brushed softly against her pink cheek. “Did ye like it?” Ifrinn… why did he ask that, did he really want to know the answer?

Blushing, she pressed her face into his hand, and placed a delicate kiss to his palm, “Yes. I liked it very much.”

“And I didna hurt ye?” He asked.

“No, Jamie. Well… I’m afraid I’ll be a bit sore, but no you didn’t hurt me.”

“Ah, I was worried.” Jamie leaned up on his elbow, “Sassenach?”

“What?” Claire stared up at him.

“Do ye think ye can just lay wi’ me awhile… before ye go back to yer room?”

Claire’s answer was to pull up the sheet around them, as she laid her head on his chest. His arm came around her, holding her body to his. They were still naked, that was a fact they both were very aware of.   
  
Resting her curly wig on his chest, Claire slowly drifted to sleep, a delightful ache in her body. Jamie stroked her hair back and watched her for a while. He still couldn’t believe what had just happened and the smile on his face wasn’t likely to go anywhere.

_“Tha gaol agam ort.”_  I love you. Through the years, he had told her many, many times – over the phone once she had hung up, from afar when he watched her – but it was the first time he dared to say it out loud. Of course, she was asleep but the smile on her face was a good indication she had understood the message.

Jamie fell asleep soothed by the sound of her breathing and dreamt of what the next ten years would look like, holding her close. It felt like only five minutes had passed when Brian Fraser came to the door to wake up his son. “James Alexander Malcolm Mackenzie Fraser, what are ye doing still asleep eh?” Brian’s voice resonates outside of the wooden door as he knocked loudly on it,  waking up Jamie and Claire suddenly.

“Jesus H Roosevelt Christ” Claire cursed quietly, getting up at once to gather her clothes  “We’re dead”

“I’m comin’ Da!” Jamie answered, cursing himself and getting dressed as quickly.

“Aye, hurry we’ve got things to do lad!” Brian footsteps receded and they both relaxed at once.

“I..I’ll go before they start looking for me,” Claire said, dressing. “If that hasn’t started yet.” About to open the door, Claire turned around and looked at Jamie, her cheeks flushing “Last night was great, we should do it again sometime…”

Jamie watched her and simply nodded like an idiot – surely he would wake up for this dream at some point. Or maybe not. She disappeared quickly and he sat down on his bed, his heart about to burst.

_____

The last minute preparations and the actual wedding ceremony kept Jamie and Claire apart for most of the day but that didn’t mean they couldn’t exchange glances and shy smiles – quite the contrary. Claire was hoping to talk to Jamie about how she was feeling at the party, away from everyone but she was nervous. The last thing she wanted was to ruin their friendship but it was too late now, they’d crossed a line last night and she had to know how he felt about it.

Finishing her drink and hoping some liquid courage would help, she walked around the party to find Jamie…and she did. Leaning against the wall, laughing at something Annalise had said. Annalise de Marillac was a couple of things: Raymond’s niece from Paris, a little bit older than Jamie, poised and most of all, sexy – _very sexy._  With perfect blue eyes, shiny blonde hair and a silk dress embracing her curves in all the right places, she seductively stroked Jamie’s toned arm as they laughed about something together. Claire’s heart dropped in the pit of her stomach — guess she didn’t need to talk to Jamie after all, things were as clear as water.

She went back to the main party in search of a strong drink and swallowed back her tears.

“Claire?” Asked a voice with a thick British accent.

Turning around, Claire laid eyes on John Grey — Joe’s best friend. “Yes?”

“Would you dance with me?” He asked with a smile.

She nodded “Sure, why not.” Claire took John’s hand and he led them to the small dance floor.

As they started to dance, her heart just wasn’t it in. She kept looking over at Jamie and Annalise, and each time only became more crushed.

“Are you alright, Claire?” John asked, and she pried her eyes away from Jamie to look into John’s.

“Yes. I’m perfectly fine,” she lied. “Did you enjoy the wedding?”

John’s hand slid across her lower back and pushed her a little closer to him, “Yes, it was a very lovely ceremony and the cake wasn’t half bad,” he laughed. She couldn’t help it as her eyes once again drifted over to where Jamie was but he was gone.

Claire leaned her head against John’s shoulder, afraid he would see through her glass face that she was in fact, not alright.

As they spun slowly, Claire saw them. Dancing. Jamie’s arms around Annalise… her hands wrapped tightly around his neck. So it really had just been about sex, and nothing more. But what Claire didn’t know – couldn’t have known, was how Jamie watched her in John’s arms, his own jealousy raging in the pit of his stomach.


	3. Missed Connections

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again this week, our teenagers from last week’s chapter have grown up a tiny bit and are now graduating from university!

College is a time of discovery – of the world, of knowledge, of others but mostly, of oneself. Jamie could hardly believe that it’d been four years since both he and Claire had been accepted at Oxford University.

> _“And congratulations you two!” Brian raised his glass proudly towards Jamie and Claire. The two families gathered for a dinner to celebrate the admission of the two young people into the prestigious establishment. “I speak for the all of us and I’m sure Lambert agrees wi’ me when I say we couldn’t be prouder.”_
> 
> _Lamb nodded and smiled “We are really proud and in no time I’m sure we’ll have new colleagues,” He winked._
> 
> _“Let us go through the program before giving us jobs, uncle” Claire chuckled, glancing at Jamie. It had been almost six months since the wedding and they had not talked about what happened during their night together._
> 
> _Jamie smiled at Claire across the table, “We ken Claire will pass wi’ flying colours. Too bad we’re no’ doing the same courses or I would copy her stuff.”_
> 
> _Brian put his hand on Jamie’s shoulder, squeezing it a bit too tight, but laughed as he raised his glass, “To Jamie and Claire!”_

The first semester had been eye-opening for Claire, and not only in her academics. She had quickly realized it would never work with Jamie, burying her feelings for him deep down, and contenting herself to be his best friend, nothing more. They had learned to navigate around one another without awkwardness and both started to date other people. Claire had started to go out with John during the second semester of their first year while Jamie was going from one dumb blonde to another.

But their undeniable chemistry was still there – lingering between stolen glances across the table, during late night study sessions. One particular study session, in their second year, a week before exams, would be a night both of them would never forget.

> _“I canna see anymore, I’m done for tonight,” Jamie yawned, closing his book. “And the library will close soon anyway.”_
> 
> _Claire sighed, removing her glasses. “You’re right, I can’t digest anything more and I need sleep. Well, I need alcohol but that will have to wait for the end of finals.”_
> 
> _“Aye, dinna fash we’ll get all the alcohol sassenach” Jamie grinned, getting up and gathering his things. “All of it.”_
> 
> _He reached across to pick up Claire’s books so she wouldn’t have to carry them, but his hand brushed against hers instead as she grabbed her notebook. “I’ll carry them, Sassenach.”_
> 
> _Claire didn’t look up at him, she was avoiding his gaze. As she stood from the table, her foot got twisted in the leg of the chair and she started to fall, but Jamie was faster._
> 
> _He dropped the books to the ground in a rush to catch Claire from hitting the ground. “Christ, Sassenach.” Jamie held her up, one hand running across her cheek to make sure she was alright._
> 
> _“Follow me.” That was all Claire had said before taking hold of Jamie’s hand and leading him through the shelves of the library._
> 
> _“Where are we goin’, this isna where the exit is, and ye left all yer books back there.” Claire turned her head and put a finger over her mouth, he remained quiet as she led them to the back of the library._
> 
> _Claire’s heart was racing, from the moment his hand had brushed against hers and she’d fallen into his arms… she wanted him. Pushing Jamie against a shelf, her hands immediately hooked behind his neck to help pull herself up and her mouth crashed against his._
> 
> _It took half a second for Jamie’s brain to catch up with his body, but then his hands found the small curve of her back, pushing her to him. He parted her thighs with his knee, pressing his leg against her sensitive spot. “Oh God, oh Claire,” he sighed as her hands had dipped into his waistband, fervently trying to rid him of his pants._
> 
> _Should he stop her? Claire was dating John… not him. But when Claire’s wee hands touched his cock over his boxers, he forgot that John even existed._
> 
> _“Kiss me harder,” Claire begged, and he had responded by kissing her, biting her lips, and turning them so she was now the one pressed up against the stacks of books._
> 
> _It wouldn’t go any further than this, however, the sound of the library door opening and closing made him stop, his hands halfway up Claire’s shirt. “Shhh, stop Sassenach.”_
> 
> _“No, it’s probably just the janitor,” her mouth was leaving small kisses along his jaw. The voice they heard next made them jump apart, breathless and unsatisfied._
> 
> _“Claire?” John called out, “Jamie? Where are you guys?”_

They had never talked about it again and most likely never would. After four years, the day of their graduation was finally here, and they were determined to leave those memories behind. Another hazy memory was one drunken night together, after celebrating the end of finals during their third year.

> _“Here’s to us,” Jamie raised his fourth glass of whisky, “for finishing our last exam!” This was Jamie’s second toast of the evening. The previous toast had been something about celebrating their friendship, and Jamie went on and on about how Claire was the only person he could ever truly count on._
> 
> _“Just friends.” Claire reminded herself as she downed her glass, placing it upside down on the coffee table. Instead of going out to a bar with a bunch of their other friends, Jamie and Claire had decided to make it a chill night in, two bottles of whisky and Abba’s greatest hits blaring in the background._
> 
> _“I need to go home,” Claire slurred, checking the time on her phone. “It’s nearly 3am and we both have a train to catch in a few hours to head back to Lallybroch for the holidays.”_
> 
> _“One more drink, Beauchamp, come on!” Jamie started pouring her another round and she rolled her eyes, picking up the glass and downing it in one go. “There.” Claire wiped her mouth against the back of her hand, “I’m leaving.”_
> 
> _Laughing, Claire attempted to stand up, her head spinning, and her legs wobbly. “Yer no’ goin’ anywhere on yer own, Sassenach.” Jamie stood from the couch, his arm naturally sliding around her waist. Claire could hold her drink about as well as he could, but it was her legs that gave out first._
> 
> _“Are you going to walk me home, Jamie Fraser?” Claire cooed, her lips pressed out as if she was going to kiss him._
> 
> _“Aye, I’m a gentleman. I’ll see ye home safely, I willna let ye stumble around campus.” Jamie helped Claire step into her shoes, then grabbed her purse from the side table, throwing it over his shoulder._
> 
> _“Thanks for the drinks, Jamie.” Claire smiled as she wrapped both arms around his waist as they walked to her dorm._
> 
> _“Anytime, Claire.” Her foot caught on a rock and she leaned into him, laughing that cute giggle that made his stomach do somersaults._
> 
> _“Ye must be the clumsiest person I ken,” he put more pressure around her waist as they climbed the few steps that led up her building. “But that’s part of the reason why I love ye.”_
> 
> _Ah Dhia… had he really just said he loved her? Maybe she wouldn’t notice._
> 
> _Claire was silent the rest of the way up to her dorm, save for contented sighs every time Jamie’s hand squeezed her side._
> 
> _“Safe and sound, Sassenach.” Jamie looked down at Claire, her head resting against his chest._
> 
> _“You love me, Jamie.” It wasn’t said as a question, simply stated as a fact._
> 
> _He paused, waiting for her to say more, “Aye, I love ye verra much, Claire.”_
> 
> _Claire reached for her keys in her purse, which was still slung on Jamie’s shoulder. She unlocked the door and Jamie turned to leave, expecting the night to end there. The words “I love ye,” hanging in the air between them._
> 
> _“Where do you think you’re going?” Claire grabbed for his wrist and pulled him inside, slamming the door shut behind him._
> 
> _“You said you love me,” Claire stood on her tiptoes, trying to stare into his eyes but the room was so dark. She slid her hands up his chest, her fingers grazing his nipples.  
> _
> 
> _“Aye,” he groaned, tangling his hands in her curls. “I did.” Jamie tugged on her hair, exposing her neck as he bent his head to kiss the soft skin there. It was just like that time in the library, Claire’s hands were at the waistband of his jeans and he prayed to God no one would interrupt them this time._
> 
> _“Claire, I need ye.” Jamie’s hands slid down her back and over her round arse, squeezing the backs of her thighs and lifting her. Claire’s legs wrapped around his waist, her mouth pressed against his, tasting of whisky._
> 
> _They fell down on her bed, and Claire rolled him over, straddling his legs. “Will you have me, Jamie?”_
> 
> _He ran his hands up along her thighs, then gripped her sides, “Christ, yes. Yes, I’ll have ye.” It was a race, then, to see who could undress the fastest. Very drunk, they were both clumsy as they tugged at stubborn material and buttons. Jamie sighed, his heart full at the sight of her. The last time they had been completely naked like this was their first time… back at Lallybroch when they were seventeen._
> 
> _Jamie slid his hands along Claire’s arse, pressing his hips upwards, his cock almost entering inside of her. Claire leaned over, opening the nightstand where she kept condoms and pulled one out. “Let’s hope we’re better at this than the last time,” she giggled, and took hold of his cock, expertly sliding it over him._
> 
> _“Ifrinn!” his body twitched at her touch. Claire bit her lip, placing her hands around Jamie’s neck as he slowly guided himself into her. He wanted to look into her eyes, hold her attention but her wee nipples, grazing his chest, were calling his name._
> 
> _Jamie dipped his head, and sucked on the hard buds, lightly biting, eliciting moans from Claire._
> 
> _She told herself that no one would ever know, it was just her and Jamie. His mouth nibbled on her breasts, and she squeezed him tightly as she moved her hips, sliding her body up and down, taking every inch of him inside her. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!” she cried out as Jamie thrust into her and she leaned forward, her hands banging against the headboard._
> 
> _No one made her feel like this, a complete sense of euphoria. But they would never be more than best friends._
> 
> _Jamie brought his mouth away from her breasts reluctantly, pressing his lips to Claire’s. Their warm tongues collided as Jamie thrust up again and again. She rocked her hips against his, calling out his name. He caught her words in his mouth, saving these memories of her body giving over to his for the next time he saw her with John._
> 
> _“Oh, God!” Claire’s body began to shake, and the world was spinning on its axis. The only thing that mattered was the feeling of Jamie’s skin on hers as they both came._
> 
> _Ashamed of their behaviour in the morning, Jamie had left quickly before Claire woke up._

_____

“We’re so proud of you!” Raymond said with a wide smile, hugging his niece.

“Oh that we are Claire bear” Lamb agreed, joining in their hugs. “So proud of the woman you became and the great things you’ll keep doing in your life”

“Thank you both for giving me the best life possible,” Claire said softly, her eyes shiny with tears. Lamb had taken care of her since the age of four and later joined by Raymond, they created the best family environment for a child to grow up and blossom. 

The Frasers and the Beauchamps were sitting in the same row, proudly watching the ceremony and cheering on their children when it was their turn to receive their diploma. They had always thought Jamie and Claire would end up together but they had started to abandon the idea as Claire and John’s relationship became more serious even when it was obvious to everyone how much the two blind fools loved one another.

After the ceremony, everyone had gathered near the lake for a celebratory barbecue and while Brian and Raymond took care of the meat, the rest of the clan were busy swimming in the lake or laying on the deck, simply enjoying the sunshine and the freedom of the graduate life for Jamie, Claire and John.

“Come on, sassenach, jump from there!” Jamie said with a grin, watching up on top of the rock.

“Be careful though, Claire!” John added, slightly worried she would get hurt by her recklessness. “Don’t encourage her, Jamie.”

“Ye dinna need to be scairt all the time, John” He chuckled “She’ll be fine, it’s no’ the first time she’s done it” The lake had been a frequent hang out during their summers when they were not at Lallybroch.

> _“Okay, I’ll jump” A determined but slightly terrified fifteen years old Claire had said, looking down at the water. “But jump with me.”_
> 
> _Jamie smiled and took her hand, bringing it to his lips “Aye, sassenach. Ye jump, I jump. Do ya trust me?”_
> 
> _Claire smiled and nodded “With my life.”_
> 
> _And together, they jumped into the water, tightly holding hands._

Jamie smiled at the memory and watched Claire jumping alone, her mad curls in the air and toned body gracefully sliding into the water. His fingers permanently burnt with the memory of the feeling of her ivory skin under them.

Brian called them up to eat, so they slowly came out of the water to join their families by the barbecue.

As Claire watched John, water droplets sliding down his back, she was struck with a memory of their first date, when they got caught in the rain.

> _“The weather forecast didn’t say anything about rain,” John held his jacket above Claire’s head but it was no use, her curly wig was already resembling something akin to a drowned poodle._
> 
> _“It’s alright,” she wiped water from her forehead and kept walking beside John. He’d asked her on a date to see a movie in the park but the minute they sat down, rain fell from the heavens. John said he knew a cafe close by but they had walked to the park, hence Claire’s wet poodle look now._
> 
> _They ran into the small cafe, seeking shelter from the oncoming storm. It was quaint, books adorned the walls and the smell of coffee filled the air. “Nice little place,” she squeezed the water out of her hair and tied it up on top of her head. No use trying to look presentable._
> 
> _“What will you drink?” John asked as she scouted out a table near the window. “Um, just a ginger and lemon tea please.”_

John was kind and very attentive. It was his kindness that had won over Claire and had made her say yes to the date. It seemed like anytime Jamie had disappointed her, John was there to pick up the pieces. It had happened again, when Claire finally decided to tell Jamie how she was feeling, he was too busy going out with another blonde to notice her so she decided to accept John’s invite.

“Claire, will you wait right there? I just need to grab something from inside,” John smiled, and left. Jamie walked up behind her, his arm casually flinging around her shoulders.

“Where’s he goin’?” Jamie asked, frowning. 

“Inside to get something.” Claire looked up at Jamie and he had a question written all over his face.

“Claire… can I talk to ye about somethin’?” He slid his arm off of her, running both hands through his wet hair.

“Of course, let me just grab my towel.” She left Jamie standing near the picnic tables set up with food and went to dry off.

John came out of the house, his hands clasped behind his back. “Claire!” He smiled, and she glanced back at Jamie but he was busy staring down at his feet, muttering to himself.

“Claire,” John stood before her, and she noticed now that her uncles and Jamie’s family had all gathered around them.

“I have loved you from the first moment we met, it was during our first date in the rain that I knew,” he pulled his hands from behind his back, dropping down on one knee, “I knew you were the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Claire Beauchamp,” John opened the small box to reveal a huge diamond, “Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

Shocked, Claire simply nodded as her eyes were stuck on the red haired lad. She had so many emotions running through her body at once. Surprise for one, shock at the size of the ring that was now on her finger. And curiosity… what did Jamie want to talk to her about? 

Her family immediately started clapping and cheering as John stood and kissed Claire. But as she hugged John, her eyes drifted over to Jamie again, who was staring straight back, his eyes glistening with tears. But were they happy tears… or sad?


	4. Je t'aime...Moi non plus.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even after 20 years of friendship, communication is still not Jamie and Claire's strong suit...

Claire walked into her office,  _‘Professor Beauchamp’_ , the sign said. She would never tire of reading those words. After graduating from Oxford, she’d been offered a teaching position, Literature, her favourite subject. It was quite rare for a newly graduated student to receive such a position – it was even rarer that both Jamie and John had received teaching jobs as well. **  
**

Their offices were just down the hall, Jamie was a professor of linguistics, which he excelled at, and all his students absolutely loved him. While her husband, John, was a law professor – for half of his time and a brilliant lawyer the other half – his love for justice and the human condition made him a driven lawyer, but not much of a passionate husband.

John was a gentle lover, which Claire appreciated, but sometimes she wanted more. A little spark that would ignite the flame of their marriage. But the fire was barely there, embers that begged to grow deep within her. It was Jamie, who’d she’d had such a blazing connection with – still did.

As she sat down at her desk, her wedding picture caught her eye, and it was like she was seeing it all over again… the day she almost didn’t marry John.

> _“Deep breath, Beauchamp.” She looked in the mirror, her makeup was perfect, almost too perfect. Her veil was in place and her dress was zipped up. Claire was supposed to walk down the aisle in thirty minutes, but why did she have the sudden urge to be a runaway bride?_
> 
> _The wedding wasn’t as small as she had wanted, John’s family knew a lot of people. Most of the guests were there for him anyways, her side included her uncles and Joe. Of course, she’d asked one of her closest friends, Geillis to be her maid of honour. They had met during her last year of college, and since the proposal to John, Claire had confided her true feelings to her._
> 
> _A soft knock came from the door and a flash of red appeared, “Claire, are ye almost ready?” Geillis asked as she stepped into the small bridal chamber._
> 
> _Fresh tears welled in her eyes, and before she had even opened her mouth, Geillis was there, arms wrapped tightly around her. “I – I don’t know if I can do this. John…”_
> 
> _“Ye dinna love him?” Geillis stroked her back, careful not to mess up her veil._
> 
> _“Of course I love him, but there’s Jamie.” She sniffed and pulled back, reaching for a tissue on the table, gently dabbing at her eyes._
> 
> _“Aye. There’s always been Jamie, ye ken.” Geillis wiped her thumb under Claire’s eye, “If ye truly dinna wish to marry John, ye dinna have to, Claire. Ye can tell Jamie how ye really feel.”_
> 
> _“I couldn’t,” Claire blew her nose, “I couldn’t do that to John, leave him at the altar.”_
> 
> _“Ye bloody well could, Claire Beauchamp. If leaving John and going to be wi’ Jamie is what will finally make ye happy. Ye could.”_
> 
> _Claire turned to look at herself once again in the mirror, her mascara - thank God - hadn’t smudged. “Jamie and I won’t ever be more than best friends, it has always been this way and it won’t change now.”_
> 
> _“Give him one more chance,” Geillis squeezed both her shoulders, “Give yourself one more chance, to feel that love wi’ him. Go find Jamie, I’ll make up an excuse for ye.”_
> 
> _She handed Geillis her partially wet tissue and kissed her cheek, “What would I do without you, Geillis?”_
> 
> _“Marry John, most likely,” the red headed woman laughed as Claire opened the door, and peeked her head out into the hall. Where would Jamie even be?_
> 
> _Claire crept quietly through the halls, holding the end of her dress in one hand, looking down corridors of the huge estate the wedding was being held at. Maybe she was too late, and he was already seated outside, waiting like everyone else for the bride to walk down the aisle._
> 
> _Turning a corner, she heard a soft giggle and turned back to head in the opposite direction. But she froze when she heard a deep voice say, “Mo nighean bhuidhe ,” and another giggle came from the girl. Claire followed the sound, her heart pounding with every step closer._
> 
> _“Jamie,” she whispered, too quiet for them to hear. His hands were on her – his blonde bimbo of a date – and her mouth was kissing along his jaw. They were standing in the corner of the hallway, his eyes were closed but as she took a step back to run away, his eyes popped open._
> 
> _Jamie’s eyes drifted down her body, taking in Claire standing there in her white wedding dress, and he froze. Christ, she was beautiful. Why was she here? Standing in the hallway, with red puffy eyes._
> 
> _He tried to detach himself from the blonde leech of a girl, but her hand drifted on his backside and pushed him against her, trapping him to the wall. Claire pressed her lips together, he could see the hurt in her eyes… the same hurt he had felt when John proposed._
> 
> _He wanted to run after her, take her in his arms and tell her to not marry John – but marry him instead. She was already running down the hall though, and his date was making it very difficult to follow after her._

“P-professor Beauchamp?” A soft voice said, and she blinked rapidly, looking up at the small figure at her door.

“Oh hi, Mary. I didn’t forget about you, come in and take a seat.” She’d promised one of her students, Mary Hawkins to help with her oral presentation. The poor girl had a terrible stutter and needed all the help she could get.

After ten minutes of breathing exercises, to try and help with Mary’s nerves, Claire’s phone rang. She held up a finger to Mary and looked at the caller I.D. “Just one second, Mary, I need to take this.”

“Jamie. Hello.” Claire focused her attention on a loose string on the hem of her skirt while Jamie spoke.

“John’s going out of town in two weeks, that’s right. Why?” She smiled at Mary, who waited patiently.

“Och, I was just wonderin’. I came across two tickets to see ‘Mamma Mia’ at West End, and I ken it’s one of yer favourites,” He took a deep breath on the other end. Claire knew he was probably in his office down the hall, why didn’t he just come and talk to her in person?

“Since John’s goin’ to be away though, would ye want to go wi’ me? We could take the train to London and stay for the weekend, I’ll let ye sing and I promise to no’ be too embarrassed.” He laughed, which only made Claire’s heart squeeze. John would never have thought to get theatre tickets, he was a good husband, he really was. But not all that attentive to Claire, his focus was on other things.

“I’d love to Jamie, we haven’t spent time together just the two of us in a while.”

“I know, Beauchamp. I mean uh – Grey.” He sighed through the phone, “I’ll send ye the details. And I’m sure I’ll see ye around the halls before then. Goodbye Claire.”

“Goodbye, Jamie.” She put the phone down on the desk, “I’m so sorry, Mary. Shouldn’t have taken that call with you here.”

“W-was that Professor Fraser you were talking to?” Mary’s eyes grew wide. She probably had a crush on him just like all the other girls did.

“Yes, it was. He’s one of my best friends,”  _One of… the only._

“My r-roommate, Mackenzie is obsessed w-with him, she talks about him all the time,” Mary said this innocently and amused but a jealous rage stirred within Claire. No blonde trollop would take Jamie away from her. And if it was the girl Claire thought it was…. she was an American exchange student who didn’t know what the proper length of shorts was but who was exactly Jamie’s type – even if she actually didn’t know what his type was, only assumed it was the complete opposite of herself.  

“Well, Jamie…I mean Professor Fraser is a handsome man, I can’t fault her there. We’ve known one another since we were children” Claire said with a smile. She omitted to talk about their tumultuous relationship through the years – Jamie might still be her best friend, deep down, she would always feel something more towards him – an uncontrollable pull she had to bury deep down now that she was married and he was not interested in her.

_____

Jamie absently sipped his coffee, half listening to what John had to say about his latest case – his mind too occupied watching Claire through the window of the library to care. She liked to grade her essays there instead of her office and it amused him to see how much she looked like any other student, she looked the professor’s part, with her curls tied up in a messy bun, her round golden glasses, her silk white shirts and tweed pants. Jamie knew her students loved her and some had crushes on her – he couldn’ blame them. 

“Jamie?” John’s voice brought him back to himself and he looked over at him, reluctantly taking his eyes of Professor Beauchamp. “Aye? What were ye sayin’?”

“That Claire wanted to know if you’re coming to dinner this weekend?” John repeated.

“I’m already invited at my parents’” Jamie lied  “But next week if ye’d like? Or any other time”

John nodded and smiled “Okay, well I’m out of town next week but I’ll see with Claire and we’ll let you know.”

“Aye, right ye are. Just let me know” Jamie smiled back – he hated to go have dinner at their home and watch the life he could have had with Claire while he enjoyed some chocolate cake she had prepared.

“How is everything?” John asked, completely clueless about the feelings Jamie had for his wife.

“Always the same, eh. The routine and all” Jamie sipped his coffee “And what about ye?”

“Oh you know, pretty much of the same apart I work a lot and I’m not at home as much as I’d like…I guess it’s starting to weigh on Claire,” John admitted with a sigh.

“I see…” Jamie watched him and crossed his arms. “Maybe ye should show some effort, aye? Work is no’ everything.” He wondered why he bothered giving him tips on how to be a better husband when all he wanted to do was to punch him and run away to marry Claire – he would have been such a better husband to her, he just knew it.

“I know, I know and I try to make an effort but when I’m not tired, she is and I know she wants children but I don’t.” He sighed “Marriage is so complicated, you don’t know how lucky you are to be single” John chuckled, unaware on just how much Jamie was envious of his marriage.

“The grass is always greener, mate,” Jamie said through gritted teeth and finished his coffee in one sip.

“I guess that’s true but I doubt you’d want to be married,” John grinned.

“Actually, I’d love to be marrit’…I just havena found the right woman for it yet.”  _Another lie._  Jamie had found the right woman when he was seven years old and to this day, no one had been able to take her place in his heart – even if he couldn’t have her, he wouldn’t settle for less. 

> _“I’m never getting married,” young Claire scowled, sticking out her tongue. “Who would want to live with a boy anyway?”_
> 
> _“But it’s like a sleepover every night, like the ones we have,” Jamie kicked at the rock he was playing with, sending it across the yard. “Wi’ kisses and all”_
> 
> _“I’ll have a sleepover with you, but not any other boys. And I won’t kiss you” Claire kicked another rock across the ground._
> 
> _“Wanna see something, Jamie?” She stood in front of him, her tiny hand pulled up the hem of her skirt, and Jamie’s eyes grew wide._
> 
> _“Claire! Dinna be showi’ me what’s under yer wee skirt.” He tried to look away, but he was fascinated by the purple unicorns on Claire’s panties and he blushed furiously._
> 
> _“Why not? It’s nothing you haven’t seen before, it’s like when we’re in the pool!” She laughed and pulled her skirt down. Claire hit him playfully on the arm, and Jamie grabbed her wrist, as strongly as an eight-year-old boy could._
> 
> _His hands went to her stomach, tickling her there, and Claire burst into a fit of giggles._

_____

Claire’s latest seminar had been cancelled and she decided she didn’t want to go home right away. Pitt Rivers was always quiet on Thursday afternoons and roaming the almost empty museum soothed her – there was always something oddly comforting about this place to her but she couldn’t exactly pinpoint what it was. Over the years of living in Oxford, she had found herself between these walls many many times and she still wasn’t tired of it.

Claire stopped in front of the Japanese Noh masks display and studied each one as if she hadn’t seen them before.

“How many times a week do ye come here?” Came a Scottish voice from behind her and made her smile. “My best bet would be aroun’ three or four times, Sassenach.”

Claire looked at him, grinning “I wish it was that much but no, only once or twice a month when I don’t have class all afternoon.”

“Aye, I share the feelin’, I havena been here in a while.”

“Guess great minds think alike, even though I guess your great mind comes from spending too much time with me” Smirking, Claire wrapped her arms around his neck and let herself fall into him, held tightly by his arms.

He held her close, enjoying the feeling of her body against his…it had been so long  “Someone’s tired?”

“I’m exhausted, I should go home and nap instead of coming here but I just love it too much” She sighed, burying her face into the crook of his neck – he always smelled of patchouli and it drove her mad.

“Before ye leave, I wanna show ye somethin’,” He smiled and grabbed her hand, leading her through the museum. They stood before the T-rex, the same exhibit they had seen on their first trip here when they were seven. Back then, they’d been holding hands, fingers entwined – and this time wasn’t any different.

_Only things were different._  Jamie might have been holding Claire’s hand, but she didn’t belong to him. Not in the way he wanted, anyway, she was someone else’s wife and he cursed himself for not preventing it.

“Do you remember?” Claire squeezed his hand hard, “The first time we were here, and you wouldn’t let go of my hand?”

“Aye, I was so nervous, my hand was sweatin’ and I feared ye would think I was gross.” He laughed and intertwined their fingers, as she stepped closer to him.

“I did think you were gross, Jamie! An icky little boy, holding my hand and eating the raisin cookie I licked” Laughing, she laid her head on his shoulder, sighing as they both looked at the exhibit.

“I wish we could go back… start over.” She said it so softly, Jamie almost didn’t hear her.

“Me too, mo nighean donn.” He kissed the top of her head. His heart was aching for her, for them. He would give anything to be able to travel through time and tell Claire how he really felt, and not just when he was drunk – all the times he could have simply told her but he didn’t, too afraid. Maybe he could now…

“Claire…” Jamie stopped and looked at her, his heart racing and his hands sweating. He’ll tell her now.

“Mr Fraser!” Someone shouted from behind them and they both turned to see who it was, dropping hands at once.

_Mackenzie_. The American exchange student who had her eyes set on Jamie.

“Mackenzie,” Jamie said rather coldly. “Did ye need somethin’?”

The blonde girl twisted a lock of dyed hair around her finger, “I saw you here, Professor Fraser and I wanted to ask you a question about my essay.” Claire tried to hold herself back from rolling her eyes.

Claire excused herself, stepping to the side, not too far though, so she was in earshot of Jamie and Mackenzie. The young girl asked him if he had had a chance to grade it, her excuse being that she only wanted to improve and appreciated his feedback.

“Feedback, my arse,” Claire whispered under her breath.

Jamie was patient with her, answering her questions, but Claire was growing more annoyed by the minute. Finally, Jamie said goodbye and waved as Mackenzie turned to leave them there.

“Look… I know she shares a name with your mother, Jamie, but that’s about all she shares”  Claire laughed, casting one last glance back at the girl.

“She’s a nice lass” Jamie shrugged, putting his hands in his pockets.

“I know you like them blondes but don’t go get yourself fired because of that, Jamie lad.”

“What would be the harm, eh?” He looked sideways at Claire, almost daring her  “It’s no’ like I have anyone to call my own… she could bring some fun back into my life.”

Claire rolled her eyes and started to walk again “Do what you want, after all, the trashier the better, isn’t it?”

What Jamie wanted… what he really wanted was to shut Claire up by pressing his mouth to hers. Why couldn’t Claire see that she was all he ever thought about?

“Och, yer right.” He crossed his arms, following slowly behind her, his eyes drifting to her ass, gloriously hugged in her high waisted pants. “John told me about dinner but I canna make it this weekend but we’re still going to the theatre next week aye?”

Claire bit the inside of her cheek, she had been looking forward to going with Jamie. She knew deep down that he would never actually act on Mackenzie’s advances towards him, but it didn’t mean it didn’t bother her.

“Sure. But you’re buying the candy and the drinks. And… you’re singing along.”

“Christ, the bossiness doesna improve wi’ age”

“Oh please, you love it” After she said this, Claire mentally cursed herself, mentioning love around Jamie always gave her stomach knots.

“Will you walk me home?”  She asked, changing the subject quickly.

“Aye, of course, Sassenach.” Jamie caught up to Claire, and together they walked out of the museum. On the journey home, their hands brushed several times. He wanted to take her hand, squeeze it tight and never let her go. But he didn’t

“So I’ll see you tomorrow at work then,” Claire pulled her purse strap back onto her shoulder, she didn’t really want to say goodnight to Jamie just yet but she knew John was waiting for her inside.

“Aye, ye will.” Jamie wanted to say more, but he didn’t want to keep her from her husband.

“Have a good evening, Claire.” He leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her cheek, lingering a moment too long.

She let her eyes closed as his lips touched her skin, and she remembered the feeling of his hands on her body, the heat he made her feel between her legs.

Flustered, she coughed into her elbow as Jamie pulled away, “You too, Jamie.”

She walked up the stairs to her home – that didn’t really feel like a home. It wasn’t a place full of love, as she always imagined her home would be.

Scuffing his shoe on the sidewalk, Jamie started walking back towards his house a few streets away. If only Mackenzie hadn’t shown up at that moment… the day could have ended differently.

He passed the small park, the one he always crossed through on his morning runs, and something caught his eye.  _It couldn’t be…_

Jamie quietly walked forward, trying to remain unseen as he peered around a giant tree trunk. “Christ,” he gasped.

It was John – and Frank Randall, one of the history professors. Jamie blinked rapidly, trying to make sense of what he was seeing. Frank’s hands were travelling the length of John’s body, his mouth was firmly pressed against the other man’s. There was no mistaking the sounds he heard either.

Jamie took a step backwards, his heart rate climbing. What was he going to do? He couldn’t tell Claire… not this. This was – it honestly made sense, the reason why John clearly didn’t love Claire as she deserved. How could any man have Claire and not treat her the way Jamie had wanted to for so long?

But Claire needed to know, she deserved the same happiness that John was obviously feeling at this moment. And she deserved to be with someone who would love her completely… and that was Jamie.


	5. Awakenings

It had been three days since Jamie had stumbled upon John and Frank in the park that evening. He’d managed to successfully avoid talking to Claire at work, only smiling and pointing at his watch whenever he saw her in the halls. He didn’t know what to do or how to tell her – but he had to.  _And soon._

The shock of what he’d witnessed was eating away at him. That’s why he was on his way to Claire’s office now – to tell her that her husband was cheating on her…and with a man.

Jamie hesitated with his hand on the doorknob and took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure how Claire would react but he would be there to help her pick up the pieces of her life that he was about to shatter.

With a soft knock, he opened her door a crack. The sight of Claire sitting behind her desk, a pen twisting between her lips, curly wig atop her head, almost made him turn around and leave. Christ she was so beautiful – and peaceful. He didn’t want to be the one to burst the bubble.

“Claire?” He took a few steps forward until she saw him, and looked up smiling.

“Hi Jamie,” she took the pen out of her mouth and flung it on her desk. “What’s up?”

_Where to begin?_

“I uh dinna ken how to tell ye this, so I’m just goin’ to say it.” He took a seat in front of her, meeting her at eye level.

_Out with it._

“Ye ken the other night when I walked ye home from the museum?” He twisted his hands in his lap, his stomach in tight coils.

Claire ran a hand through her curls, pushing back strands from her face. Whatever Jamie was going to tell her, she wished he would just hurry up and spit it out. “Yes, three nights ago. And what about it?”

He couldn’t meet her eye as he said it, “I was walkin’ past the park after I dropped ye off and weel – I saw John… and he wasna alone.”

“What do you mean he wasn’t alone? Was he talking with someone?” Thoughts raced through her head of what Jamie could have seen. But the next sentence out of Jamie’s mouth was something she never expected to hear.

“He was wi’ Frank Randall, ye ken the history professor? And – Christ, Sassenach… John was kissin’ him” Jamie let out a deep sigh, his fingers tapping nervously on his thighs.

Claire leaned back in her chair and looked at Jamie. Then she started laughing. 

“Why are ye laughin’, Sassenach? Have ye gone mad? I just told ye I saw yer husband kissin’ another man.” Jamie stood abruptly from his seat and walked around the desk, reaching for Claire’s hands.

“I just,” she laughed again, “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard, Jamie, come on!”

He squeezed her hands tightly in his but she was doubling over with laughter. Why wasn’t she getting it through that thick skull of hers?

“‘Tis no’ a joke, Claire. I’ve told ye the truth of what I’ve seen.” He released her hands and shoved his own deep in his pockets, frustrated with the outcome of his revelations.

He had expected Claire to cry, possibly scream at the news of her husband’s infidelity, but laughter? That was very unexpected.

Claire raised her hand to cover her mouth, trying to suppress her giggles, but the more she thought about it, the funnier it became. “I’m sorry, Jamie.” She forced a frown to compose herself, “Whatever prank you’re trying to pull on me… well, it worked.” She burst into another fit of laughter.

Jamie rolled his eyes and walked back to the door of her office. If she wouldn’t take him seriously then he didn’t want to stick around when she realised the truth of his words.

_____

That night, Claire sat at the dinner table with John – Jamie’s words rolling around in her head. It was ridiculous and yet, she couldn’t help but watch him and wonder… did her husband love another man?

It seemed impossible. If John was interested in men, surely he wouldn’t have married her and she would have noticed. He had been a decent husband, not the most passionate one, but okay. Her marriage may not be what she’d always pictured but it was what she had. 

“I’m going to Pitt Rivers on Saturday with Frank Randall,” John said and Claire choked on the bite of garlic bread she’d just stuffed into her mouth.

“Are you alright, darling?” He rubbed her back as she coughed, taking a sip of water to clear her throat.

“Yes,” Claire croaked, “I’m fine. Pitt Rivers, Saturday?”

“Would you like to come with us?” John asked, resuming to take a bite of his pasta primavera. “Or aren’t you going to London this weekend?”

“No, it’s next week. When you have that conference in Dublin” Claire’s eyes almost bugged out of her head, if what Jamie said was true, she really didn’t feel comfortable tagging along. But on the other hand, it would give her a chance to see for herself – not that she was expecting John to make out with Frank in front of her.

“I’d love to come.” She forced a smile. “Can I invite Jamie to come along? He loves Pitt Rivers too.”

She thought she saw John’s eye twitch but she couldn’t be sure. Had he expected her to say no to his invitation?

“Of course! The more the merrier.”

They finished the rest of their dinner exchanging thoughts on a new history major, Roger Wakefield, who had made quite the impression with his latest thesis on the Jacobite rising of 45′ and Claire wondered why John, a law professor, all of a sudden, cared so much about history. 

Claire went to bed that night, lying beside her husband, thinking of the life they both could have had if John had never proposed to her.

_____

On Saturday, Claire woke with a nervous feeling in her stomach. But the day proved to go smoothly. She didn’t know what she was expecting to see or hear between John and Frank. She only knew that her husband couldn’t be having an affair with Frank Randall… they behaved as any normal colleagues would.

Of course… she and Jamie were colleagues and they didn’t exactly have an innocent past. After all, she had cheated on John with him in college, once…or twice.  

At work on Monday, and after all her classes were finished, she started to clean up her desk, preparing to leave. A hard knock came from her door and she looked up to see Jamie, standing there with his leather satchel strapped across his chest.

“Hi.” She said shortly. Claire still hadn’t forgiven him for trying to break up her marriage with some made up lie. The only reason she had invited him along to Pitt Rivers was that she feared if she did see something between John and Frank, she would at least have Jamie there but he had been off the entire afternoon while Frank had been a charming gentleman, engaging with her like any normal colleague would. 

“Are ye goin’ home?” Jamie didn’t move, only watched as she stood from her desk.

“Yes, I was.” Claire tried to hold her tongue… she really did. “What I don’t understand, Jamie…” she sighed, running her hand back through her frizzy wig, “Is why you would try and tell me that John was gay? Of all the ridiculous things to say.”

“It wasna a lie, Sassenach. I would never lie to ye… ever.” He stalked forward, placing his hand on her arm but she yanked it back.

“I knew you had feelings for me Jamie, not love but something, even if you always had a girl in a corner waiting for you, but to try and wreck my marriage with a false accusation? I honestly can’t even look at you right now.” Claire grabbed her bag from her desk and tried to move towards the door but Jamie blocked her.

“Please, Claire, tis’ not like that!” He stared down at her, his hands gripping her shoulders, willing her to listen… to hear the truth of his words. “I don’t know what more I can say to make you believe me.”

“Just don’t. I’m not interested in your bullshit, Jamie. I have to go.” Claire wriggled out of his grip and walked out the door and down the hallway. She shouted back to him, “Don’t you have some young blonde to fuck?!”

Jamie stood in the hallway until Claire turned the corner and he heard the door close behind her. He turned towards the closest wall and punched it with all his strength, making a fist-sized hole, “Ifrinn!”

Shielding his hand close to his chest, Jamie left the university, holding back stinging tears as he made his way home. Not only Claire didn’t believe him, she hated him now too. And in twenty years, that was a first. 

_____

Claire felt like shit – somehow when she was not able to reach for Jamie, she felt as if something was missing, a piece of her being making it hard to breathe. But on the other hand, she would never forgive him for what he had attempted to do. She tried to understand why he would lie to her and after more than twenty years of friendship, she saw no reasons for him to do such a thing.

Her marriage wasn’t the way she had imagined, her feelings for Jamie buried deep down since she was a teenager, but it wasn’t terrible either – John was a decent husband. Over the years, she came to understand Jamie’s infatuation with her never turned into love – he was more interested in flings with bimbos than a steady relationship and that was why John was the safer option, good looking but without women turning over to stare at him. He would never cheat on her…even less with a man.

She was thankful John wasn’t home yet when she got back, she didn’t want to talk about what was upsetting her and even less with him. Removing her wool coat, Claire made her way inside their joined offices and realised John had forgotten his phone on his desk. She wasn’t the type of women who searched through her significant other’s phone with hopes to find some incriminating proof of infidelities but when the screen lit up, notifying a text from Professor Randall, she had to open it. Not only to know if John had been lying to her or if it was Jamie.

**Frank Randall:** _I’ve booked us the hotel in Dublin for this weekend._

That text seemed innocent enough, Claire thought. She knew John was going on a trip with some of the other professors this weekend for a conference… that’s why she was going to see ‘Mamma Mia’ with Jamie. Well, supposed to see it with him. 

She almost walked away but then his phone vibrated again with another message from Frank.

**Frank Randall:** _I can’t wait to have you all to myself for the whole weekend, no one to get in our way._

The phone dropped out of her hand and onto the floor, the screen shattering – a good metaphor for the state of her heart at the same time. Claire felt like she couldn’t breathe. It was true… all of it and she doubted Jamie. Of all people.  

She didn’t want or need any more proof that her husband was cheating on her with a man. That text implied enough. At the sound of the phone hitting the ground with a crack, John came around the corner, oven mitt on his hand.

“Darling, are you –” he froze when he saw the expression on her face. “Is that my phone?”

Claire bent down, picking up the shattered phone and hurled it across the room at John, hitting him square in the chest. “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ!” She screamed and moved towards him.

“What is this about, Claire?” John shielded himself from Claire as she reached out her hands to strike him.

“Oh, you bastard. You bloody well know what this is about!” She glared at him, daring him to deny it. “You and Frank Randall… fucking.”

John was silent, he didn’t appear angry or shocked that she had found out. In fact, he almost looked relieved. “I never intended to hurt you, Claire. You must understand that.”

“Understand!?” She shouted, “I’m supposed to understand that I’m married to a man that doesn’t want to be married to me… damn it, doesn’t even want to be married to a woman! You could have said something sooner for fuck’s sake”

A crack of thunder roared as she and John simply stared at one another. There wasn’t much more that could be said. John couldn’t love her in the way that she needed… deserved. All these years that she had spent with him. Late nights in bed, early mornings at the breakfast table. It could have all been with someone who loved her, truly loved her. 

_It could have all been with Jamie._

“How long?” Claire asked, her whisky eyes glaring at him “How long have you been seeing him?”

“Two years.”

“Two years,” she scoffed. “You sure are good at hiding it, John. Tell me,” she walked forward until she was standing right in front of him, “Did you know you preferred men when you asked me to marry you? Or even when you asked me on our first date?! You always knew, didn’t you?”

John nodded, his eyes dropping to the floor “I was in love with Jamie.”

Claire gasped, her heart pounding out of her chest, she couldn’t believe what she was hearing “ _My_  Jamie?” 

“Yes, bloody James Fraser!” John shouted, finally showing some emotion. “I loved him from the first moment I saw him at your uncles’ wedding. But I knew he belonged to you, that his heart would only ever lie with you. There was no mistaking it, the way he looked at you and smiled or the way he held you. The only person who never noticed was you, Claire.”

“So what? You married me so that neither of us could have him?” Claire bit her bottom lip, tasting blood. She was so… angry, not only at John but at herself. All those wasted years for nothing. She couldn’t stand to be in this house for much longer.

“Yes, that is precisely what I did.” He ran his hand back through his hair, “I did care for you, Claire. It wasn’t all a sham of a marriage, I hope you know that.”

“I don’t know much of anything just now, John.” Claire grabbed her purse from the couch and turned to leave. She hesitated in the middle of the hallway and turned back, walking over to John. Her hand slapped across his face with a loud ‘thwack’ and he cried out. “Goodbye, John.”

With the thunder rolling overhead and the rain beginning to pour, Claire stormed out of the house, leaving her broken marriage, her regrets and her fears behind her. Her feet were taking her towards what her heart wanted most.

_Jamie._

She was at his house in fifteen minutes, drenched from the rain. Claire took a deep breath and walked up the three steps to his door and pushed her finger against his doorbell. She should have done this much sooner. 

There was rustling from inside and she heard his loud footsteps before she saw him. 

_Her Scot_. 

He saw her, first confused and then worried at the sight of her. Jamie opened the door quickly, the light from inside shining on her mascara stained cheeks. She was a mess – his mess. 

 “Sassenach?”


	6. Yours

Tuesday nights were never too exciting for Jamie. Some essays to grade, reruns of bad tv shows and he would always end up falling asleep on the sofa with a book over his face. Tonight had been different though – no essays to grade, the tv stayed turned off and before he could fall asleep, the doorbell rang. Jamie made his way to the front door and opened it, not expecting to find Claire on his porch. “ _Sassenach_?”

Jamie looked at her confused and pulled her inside “Christ, Claire, you’re going to be sick! What the hell are ye doin’ outside in the rain?”

She stood in the entrance of his house, water dripping onto the hardwood. “I – I don’t really know. Something –” fresh tears rolled down her cheeks.

“What happened, Claire? Was it John?” He asked and by the look in her eyes, he knew… Claire found out about John’s secret.

“I don’t want to talk about him right now, Jamie.” Claire moved forward and placed her hand on his chest, the water transferring onto his thin shirt. “I need you.” She said it so quietly, he wasn’t sure he heard her correctly.

“What did ye say, Sassenach? Are ye sure?” If they were going to do this, he needed to make sure she really wanted it.

Claire stood on the tips of her toes and pressed her mouth closer to his, whispering “I said I needed you. I’ve always needed you, Jamie.”

That was all it took and their mouths crashed together, the taste of relief sweet on their tongues. Soon, Jamie’s clothes were just as wet as Claire’s as she pressed her body fully to his, sending the most delicious chills over his body. “Claire,” he moaned, trying but failing to rid them both of their clothes.

Claire had been to Jamie’s house many times. She knew the layout like the back of her hand… and she had dreamt of a particular room in that house on her most lonely nights. She stepped back from Jamie and took his hand, pulling him down the hallway.

“The bedroom is upstairs, Sassenach, ye ken that.” Jamie’s voice was deep, husky as he followed her into his study. The lamp was on, creating a soft glow and Jamie was breathless as he watched Claire stand near the edge of the desk.

“Come here.” She begged and he was hers.

Her clothes clung to her in all the right places and Jamie wanted to see the skin he’d dreamt of, feel the skin he had kissed many years ago. With the help of Claire’s more steady hands, she was standing in her panties in no time.

“No bra, Beauchamp.” Jamie licked his lips, his hand eagerly moving forward and cupping her breast.

“Of course not,” Claire winked and her hands slipped underneath his shirt, pulling it up and over his head in seconds. Jamie’s pants were off, puddling around his ankles. “Now, please, Jamie.” Claire sat on the edge of the desk, her legs spread wide.

He closed the space in between them and bent his head to place a gentle kiss on the inside of her thighs while his hands slipped into her panties and pulled them down her shaky legs. “Dinna worry, Claire. It’s the two of us.” He leaned up and kissed her, “Forever.”

Her hands were instantly tangled in his curly red hair, desperate to make up for lost time. So many years that they fought their feelings, pushed down their desire to be with one another. It was all consuming, the fire that burned in both of them, there was little else to think of other than the touch on burning skin.

Jamie paused and reached behind Claire, pushing everything off the desk and onto the floor. 

“Jamie!” Claire laughed, watching as papers flew and pens went everywhere.

“I dinna care about that just now, mo cridhe.” He laughed, bringing both his hands to rest on her lower back and eased her to lie down on the desk. Jamie pulled off his boxers, the only remaining barrier in between them.

“I love you,” Claire said quietly, her hand gripping Jamie’s as tight as she could.

“I love you, Claire.” Jamie felt he could weep with so much happiness. To finally have Claire, to be with her and to know that they had a future together.

He wanted to tell her everything, the way he felt from the moment he first laid eyes on her but she was laying naked on his desk and he would much rather see to that.

Jamie spread Claire’s legs apart, his hand moved over his cock and guided it to her entrance. She was ready and practically writhing on the desk underneath him.

“Do it now,” she moaned, “and don’t be gentle.”

With a hard thrust forward, he was home, filling her so completely. It was bliss, after years of suppressing her feelings and telling herself that she didn’t care for Jamie in that way  _– pure bliss._

She pushed her hips upwards, urgent for more friction and he slid his hand in between them on her clit, rubbing in slow circles. Claire was clay in his hands and Jamie would shape her into his heart’s desire.

Jamie leaned over her body, his cock pressing further inside her. Their mouths met once again and in that kiss, everything they had both wanted to say was spoken.

_I’ve always loved you._

_There was never anyone else but you._

_I will never leave you._

_You’re my best friend._

_And you’re mine._

Claire wrapped her legs around Jamie’s hips and held on to him as her body began to tremble with her orgasm. She truly hadn’t felt like this since their last time in her college dorm room.

Jamie pulled back from Claire, his hands extended to her to bring her up with him. They were silent as they stared into each other’s eyes, panting from what had just happened in that small study.

“To Bed?” Jamie grinned.

Claire winked, “Well…”

******

“I’m sorry I didn’t believe you,” Claire said softly, her curly head resting on his toned chest while her delicate fingers slowly stroked his chest. They had made love slowly, clinging to one another as if they would disappear or everything was just a dream but it wasn’t – it was real and raw and for the first time in a long while, they both felt complete again. “I knew you wouldn’t lie to me…”

“I did lie, once.” Jamie interrupted her “About what we were to one another…and I lied to myself as weel, when I tried to believe I wasna in love wi’ ye for all these years. Instead, I tried to fill my life with women who were yer opposite and who wouldn’t bring me half the happiness yer simple smile could.”

“I should have never started to date John…and even less marry him. I bloody don’t know what the hell I was thinking,” Claire sighed, looking up at him. “He told me he simply proposed to me because he was in love with you and he saw how much you wanted me. He thought if he couldn’t have you, I wouldn’t either.”

“Christ, sassenach, I’m sae sorry” Jamie’s hand cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking the ivory skin. “I’m sorry I spent my life either running after ye when ye dinna see me or running away when ye needed me. We wasted so much time.”

“Twenty years,” Claire said softly.

“Aye, I was seven when I kent I loved ye. I even told my da,” Jamie smiled at the memory “I was fascinated by ye…still am.”

“I don’t think I can pinpoint the exact moment I knew I was in love with you, I think it was something I always had within me,” Claire smiled “Even when I was seven and I pretended I didn’t like you.”

“Yeah, ye liked to pretend that,” Jamie chuckled and kissed the tip of her nose.

“We need to communicate better.”

“Aye, that we need to, mo chridhe,” His thumb traced the line of her jaw, “How are you feeling?”

“I don’t know,” Claire said frankly. “I’m still realising it all, I guess. I knew John wasn’t the right one but I never thought he’d do something like this…I thought he was a safe choice and now I’m afraid to even show my face on campus again. The moment people will know about this, I can’t even begin to imagine what they’ll say.”

“Ye dinna need to be scairt of what people will think of ye, Claire. The fool in this story is John for treating ye the way he did and for letting ye go. Ye’re the most extraordinary woman and ye deserved to be treated like such.”

“You’re biased, Jamie,” Claire grinned, running her fingers along his side and sending shivers through his body. “So biased but I don’t feel like contradicting you right now.”

“Aye good, I like to have the last word and it happens so rarely wi’ ye.”

“Yes, enjoy it while it lasts.” She smiled, placing a kiss on his chest.

“Sassenach?”

“Yes?” She looked up at him.

“I love ye.”

“That’s all I ever wanted,” She whispered, reaching to touch his cheek. “For you to love me. Not because of what I can do or what I look like, or because I love you - just because I am.”

“Aye, and I always did.” Jamie kissed her, slowly at first and then a hunger stirred deep within him. For so many years this was all he had ever wanted, Claire in his arms… in his bed.

“Can we try something?” Claire smiled coyly and pulled back to look up at him, “I never… with John -” she trailed off.

Jamie brought his hand under her chin, “We can do anythin’ ye want, Sassenach. Besides, I’m verra interested in what ye have in mind.”

Claire was almost too embarrassed to say what she wanted him to do so instead she showed him. Sitting up in bed, she crawled out of the covers and straddled Jamie, his hands went to her hips and he smiled, “This isna too different, Sassenach.”

“I don’t want that, not yet anyway,” she smirked and moved up until her thighs were covering Jamie’s face and Claire braced herself on the headboard in front of her.

“Hmmm,” he hummed underneath her and she cried out as his tongue licked up her slit, still covered in their juices from before. She tasted delicious and Jamie was glad Claire was brave enough to ask him to do this… to be honest, he would literally do anything for her.

Claire pressed her lips together and leaned her forehead against the headboard and looked down at Jamie’s head moving between her thighs. His soft curls tickled her skin and she was nearly squirming on top of him. Finally, she was able to compose herself and she started to move her hips, creating a rhythm with Jamie’s tongue as he continued to slide it in and out of her.

She gasped when he pushed a thick finger inside of her and she thought she would never feel like this with anyone else… and she didn’t want anyone but Jamie.

“Oh God!” She panted and pushed her hand through Jamie’s curls, tugging on them, pushing his head between her legs and he chuckled, sending vibrations through her body.

She knew he was enjoying this, so she reached her hand behind her and took hold of his throbbing cock and began to stroke it. With a jerk of his body, Jamie groaned and thrust another finger inside of her. Claire tried to focus on pleasuring Jamie but his tongue was doing wild things to her. Her hand moved faster on his cock, pumping it in her small hand, he was so large, he barely fit.

“Jamie, more…” she called out and when she said his name she felt him spill himself into her hand and felt his come on her back. She continued to ride his face until her body was shaking and Jamie held her thighs around his face until she fell back and rolled over to the side, spent.

Looking at him, her cheeks turned crimson red and Jamie smirked, “Dinna blush, Claire.”

“It’s just…I would have never asked John something in bed.”

“Tis’ why marrying a stiff Englishman isna a good idea, sassenach.”

“And gay,” she added, rolling her eyes at her own stupidity. “I can’t believe I didn’t suspect anything, even when he barely touched me during our marriage.”

“Ye couldn’t know, he was selfish to marry ye when he kent exactly it would never work.” Jamie’s hand cupped her cheek, “Ye deserve to be worshipped, Claire. Let me do that until the day I die.”

“I love you, Jamie. You know that right?” Claire sighed and curled her head on his chest.

“Aye, mo graidh, I ken.” He kissed her curly wig, “And I love you.”

**********

In the morning, with sleep in his eyes and Claire in his arms, Jamie’s limbs felt like liquid. It was almost like a dream, her showing up at his door, drenched from the rain. And the events that followed were some of the best memories he had made to date.

Jamie rubbed his eye with his knuckles and flexed his feet. He then noticed his erection and prayed to God himself that Claire wouldn’t be waking up anytime soon… but if she did wake up…

It was Claire who had made him have his first erection at just nine years old. He didn’t quite know what to do at first or even why. It was years later that he realized it was usually when he was near Claire, or even just thinking about her.

One particular embarrassing time was when they had all gone swimming, they were about fourteen.

> _Claire walked out of the house, still wearing a towel wrapped tightly around her body. Over the past few months, her breasts had grown and she had gotten curvier. She was still feeling a bit shy from all the attention, not that she didn’t appreciate it but high school was hard enough without boys looking at you all the time._
> 
> _Jamie had asked her and a bunch of their friends to come over to Lallybroch for a few days before they needed to go back to school for the term. Claire felt comfortable enough around all of them so she stepped closer to the edge of the pool and pulled her towel off and flung it over to a chair nearby._
> 
> _She heard her friend, Emily, whistle and she blushed. Her navy bikini was rather flattering and showed off her curves nicely. With a middle finger over to Emily, Claire jumped into the pool to join the others._
> 
> _“Glad you could join us, Beauchamp,” Jamie smiled and splashed water at her and she immediately splashed back. He swam closer and pushed her head under the water and her arms started flinging. He was about to let go until Claire’s hand hit him gently over his crotch and he groaned._
> 
> _Claire came up out of the water, gasping for air, “You bastard!” She laughed, however, she was used to Jamie’s antics._
> 
> _Jamie felt the heat rising up his cheeks as he looked at Claire, her body glistening in the sun and he couldn’t help it as his eyes drifted over her chest and he saw her wee nipples poking through the material of her swimsuit._
> 
> _Claire splashed water on his face and swam over to their other friends who were climbing out to start eating the pizza that had just been delivered. “Are you coming out, Jamie?” Claire shouted and shielded her hand over her eyes from the sun._
> 
> _Jamie stood in the middle of the pool, unable to move with his hands covering his crotch. “Aye, in a bit… I uh – I’m just enjoying the water.” He choked out and cursed himself under his breath._

**********

Staring at him over her cup of coffee, Claire couldn’t quite believe she was sitting in Jamie Fraser’s kitchen at 8 o’clock in the morning on a Saturday. He had put on his glasses which he only wore on the weekends when he was too lazy to put his contacts in. She remembered when he first got his glasses, they were fifteen and Jamie had been so embarrassed.

> _“Everyone at school is goin’ to call me four eyes,” Jamie scoffed and took off his glasses. He hated them already. His eyesight wasn’t that bad, but he had to admit… the glasses did help him see things more clearly. For instance – the colour of Claire’s hair as the sunlight touched it or the flecks of green in her eyes that weren’t there before._
> 
> _“You look fine, Jamie.” She reassured him and took the glasses from his hand and slid them back onto his nose. “No one will make fun of you and if they do then they’ll have me to talk to first.” Claire pulled out her phone and turned the camera on front facing view, “Ready?” she asked Jamie and stuck her tongue out as she took the picture._
> 
> _“Why’d ye take a picture?” Jamie asked._
> 
> _Claire tapped a few buttons on her phone, setting the new picture as her lock screen, “Because… I wanted you to see that I’m not afraid of having a geek as my lock screen,” she held up her phone to show Jamie and laughed when she saw his mouth quirk up on the side._
> 
> _“Thanks a lot, Beauchamp.” He laughed and rolled his eyes. Claire always had a way of making Jamie feel more comfortable in his skin._

“What are you lookin’ at?” Jamie chewed the bite of toast he had just put in his mouth, staring back at her.

“You just look… sexy in those glasses is all,” she smiled coyly and touched his foot with hers under the table.

“Yer no’ so bad yerself at this hour, Beauchamp.” He kicked her foot back but Claire’s smile wavered as she remembered what her last name was… Grey. The reality of yesterday came crashing down all at once. Jamie saw the shift in Claire at once and reached for her hand across the table, “Are ye alright, Sassenach?”

She shook her head slowly, “I – I suppose I’ll be getting a divorce then.” Claire’s heart broke all over again. When she was young, she never thought she would be one of those people that got a divorce and while her marriage wasn’t exactly built on truth – it was still her marriage.

“Claire, I’m –” Jamie squeezed her hand, feeling like nothing he could say would make her feel better, “I’m so sorry you had to find out that way.”

“You warned me, didn’t you?” Claire gave him a half smile and set her coffee cup down on the table. “I’m sorry I got mad at you when you were just trying to be my friend and look out for me.”

“I never wanted yer marriage to fail, Claire…” Jamie reached out to touch her hand. “I just wanted ye to be happy and I thought, if John was the one making ye happy, I could swallow my pride and keep my feelings to myself, I never wanted ye to be hurt by all of this and I’m sorry John wasn’t the man ye thought he was.”

She nodded and entwined their fingers “I’m just hurt and embarrassed I let this go so far. I should have talked to you before and told you my real feelings.”

“We’re both at fault here but it’s over now, aye?” Jamie said softly.

“Yes, it is” she smiled and leaned towards him to kiss his cheek

“Good, then I need to ask ye something.”

“Wot?” She frowned, looking at him.

“Will ye go on a real date wi’ me? We’ve never had one.” Jamie smiled shyly.

“Of course I would, that could be our weekend in London actually.”

“Aye, it can,” He smiled, bringing her palm to his lips.


	7. The New Normal

Claire tapped her pen nervously on the table and scanned her eyes over the documents. The words  _“DECLARATION FOR SIMPLIFIED DIVORCE”_ , jumped out at her, making her stomach squeeze. She was really doing it, getting a divorce. She was so angry – not only at John but mostly at herself, for wasting so much time with a man that never loved her and that in retrospect, she had never loved, either.

How could she have been so blind to see how Jamie felt about her all these years? Their weekend in London just a month ago now had been absolute bliss. Spending lazy mornings in bed and their nights out, just enjoying each others company. Claire fell in love with Jamie all over again and she was glad to have him by her side at this time.

> _“The Ned, uh? That’s a fancy hotel you got us for a first date, Fraser” Claire grinned, putting her leather bag on the chair._
> 
> _“Aye, weel ye ken I do things properly…and also it was the first one that popped up when I googled hotels in London,” Jamie sheepishly admitted, making her laugh._
> 
> _“Thank you for being honest, I’ll thank google then.” Claire smiled. “I thought you simply wanted to impress me to get me into your bed”_
> 
> _“Aye, that too” He admitted with a coy smile “We need to get ready, I wanna take ye out for dinner before we go to the theatre,” Jamie placed his hands on her hips, rubbing his thumb on the bit of bare skin that was showing on her stomach._
> 
> _“Shower?” Claire asked, her mouth curling up into a mischievous smirk._
> 
> _“You read my mind,” he laughed and then took one of Claire’s hands and spun her quickly in a circle, making her dress fly out around her. She laughed and let him spin her into the bathroom. “Now… lose the dress.”_
> 
> _“Or else…?” She asked innocently._
> 
> _“Lose the dress, Beauchamp,” He said hoarsely._
> 
> _Claire reached behind her and pulled the zipper down, letting the linen fabric fall down around her body and to the tiled floor. “This is better?”_
> 
> _“Christ,” Jamie muttered as he looked at Claire’s naked body. She hadn’t bothered with a bra or panties, something Jamie was learning very quickly was that most of the time, she didn’t wear any._
> 
> _Laughing, Claire hid her face behind her hands and then walked over to the shower. She turned the hot water on and stood under it, letting it drip down over her. Jamie’s eyes never left hers as he undressed and joined her under the water._
> 
> _“Hello,” Claire said softly, rubbing the soap between her hands before washing his chest. “You got so freaking muscular than when we were in college”_
> 
> _“Aye, I spend my time at the gym because I had no one to entertain me at home,” He pouted, watching her. “And no one cooks for me so…”_
> 
> _“To be fair, my cooking is awful so you’re not missing much,” She chuckled, tiptoeing to seal their lips.  
>   
>  “Weel, I can cook for ye,” He smiled, stroked a wet curl behind her ear._
> 
> _“Okay, we have a deal Fraser” She wrapped her arms around his neck and Jamie lifted her up, pressing her against the cold tiles. He intended to love her and love her well._

“Claire?” Her lawyer called her name and she snapped out of her memories. 

“Are you ready to discuss the division of assets?”  _Would she ever truly be ready to get divorced?_  

“I suppose so.” She crossed her arms over her chest and listened as her lawyer started going down the list – she was to keep their house and all this time they had separate bank accounts, thank God for small blessings. John sat in front of her, not once meeting her eyes and simply watched their lawyer absently.

In the end, the meeting only took fifteen minutes, John was being very cooperative and Claire supposed that was because he felt guilty. She stood from her chair once she signed the document and as she left the small room, she dared a final glance back at John. “You know… I forgive you, John. And I truly wish you all the best.” John only stared back and nodded his goodbye.

She would have to see him around the halls at work but Claire knew his schedule and she knew how to avoid him. Claire was only grateful that Jamie also worked with her and the thought of him made her heart leap – they had not really discussed their relationship status but she felt like she could assume they would be together from now on.

Jamie’s office was where she was headed now, she promised him that after she signed the divorce papers, she would come and see him – he didn’t want her to be alone. Her heels clicked on the hardwood floor leading to his door and she knocked softly before entering. “Hi,” she smiled and he looked up from his computer.

“Sassenach, how are ye?” Jamie took his glasses off and set them on the edge of his desk, “Come here,” he knocked his hand against his desk.

“I’m… better than I thought I would be,” Claire said honestly as she took a seat on the desk in front of Jamie. “I’m glad to see you though,” she bent her head to kiss him and he slid his hand along her thigh.

“Aye, it’s been so long,” he laughed against her lips.

“Yes, indeed” she laughed, “Three hours is a very long time.” Jamie’s fingers were moving in slow circles on the inside of her thigh and suddenly Claire was very glad that she decided to wear a dress today.

“Five minutes away from ye is too long, Sassenach. When I’m no’ near ye… I ache for ye.” Jamie pressed his head forward and kissed along her collarbones, all while sliding his hand up her dress.

“We’re in your office, Jamie.” Claire sighed but ran her hands through Jamie’s curls and grabbed onto the back of his head. “Anyone could hear us or walk in.”

“Let them,” Jamie growled and with his other hand he spread her legs apart. Claire let her head fall back as his fingers explored the warm skin between her thighs. When his hands weren’t on her, it’s all she thought about, all she craved.

“Jesus H. Christ,” Claire moaned and just before Jamie could slide a finger into her panties, she pushed his hand away and reached for his belt. “I need you inside of me.”

Jamie stood from his chair quickly making it hit the wall behind him and his hands pulled down his pants. Together they pulled up Claire’s dress to her hips and Jamie was there –  _home_. It was rather erotic, Claire thought, to be having sex on top of Jamie’s desk and especially at work. 

“Christ,” he moaned and thrust his hips against her and she cradled his head to her chest.

Her dress was low cut and Jamie easily slid the loose fabric aside and took her hardened nipple into his mouth. Claire let out a deep sigh and rolled her hips to take more of Jamie’s cock inside her.

“I need ye so badly, mo nighean donn,” Jamie grunted and then slid his hands to her arse, picking her up and turned them around so Claire’s back was now against the wall and he angled her hips and slid upwards.

“Jamie… oh God,” moaning his name, she kissed the spot just under his ear and when she looked up she saw that someone was standing in the door of Jamie’s office. It was that American exchange student, and the look on her face was priceless. Claire sighed and stared straight back at the girl and smirked as Jamie cried out Claire’s name, “I love you, God, I love ye, Claire.” 

Mackenzie’s face turned a deep shade of red and she turned and ran down the hallway, shutting the door hard behind her – Jamie was too busy to hear it. 

She clutched onto Jamie’s arms as she felt herself release and her body give over to him and soon Jamie followed her. He set her back down on top of the desk and helped her redress. “That was unexpected,” he laughed.

“Very.” Claire kissed him, “But I loved it. We should do this again sometime, Professor. Oh and…your student saw us.”

“What?”Jamie frowned “Who?”

“Mackenzie,” Claire couldn’t help but smirk as she said the name – the expression on the girl’s face coming back to her.

“Do ye find that funny?” Jamie held back a laugh.

“Actually, I do and she didn’t even have time to look at your ass, she was too shocked”

“Och, weel, that’s good I suppose, she will ken who I belong to. But will make seeing her in class rather awkward…” Jamie reached for his glasses and put them back on the bridge of his nose. “Are ye goin’ to stick around, Sassenach? Or do ye have work of yer own to attend to?”

Claire shook her head “Neither, I’ll go buy some groceries and I’ll wait for you at your place.”

“Ye’re going to cook for me?” Jamie raised an eyebrow and smirked

“I’m going to attempt to cook for you, yes. Don’t expect miracles,” She chuckled and grabbed her satchel, “I’ll see you later.”

*********

Jamie walked through his front door to the smell of roast chicken and sighed happily. He wasn’t sure if he would ever really get used to having Claire at his house… and her staying but his heart was full just at the sheer thought of it. 

“Honey, I’m home!” He shouted and heard a familiar laugh from the kitchen.

“You bastard,” she smiled and whacked him with a kitchen towel as he walked through the door. “Dinner’s almost ready, it’s… somewhat edible.”

“Well it smells delicious,” Jamie slid his hands around her waist and put his chin on her shoulder and swayed both of their bodies as he watched Claire stir the potatoes in the pot on the stove.

“Look at us being all domestic, we’re not too bad at it,” Claire’s mouth curled up into a smirk and she pecked his cheek.

“Not bad at all, Beauchamp.” Now that Claire was officially divorced, she was back to being his Claire Beauchamp… and one day she would be his Claire Fraser, at least he hoped as much. 

*********

Sitting down at the dinner table, Claire smiled to herself as she watched Jamie happily eat every bite. “It’s not horrible, then? Or are you just eating to be polite?”

“It’s the best roast chicken I think I’ve ever had in my life!” He took another bite and Claire gave herself a mental pat on the back. As she reached for seconds, the doorbell rang.

“I’ll get it,” she motioned for Jamie to stay seated and walked through the house to his front door. She could just make out a blonde blob through the foggy glass.

“Hello, can I help you?” Claire said as she opened the door to reveal a scantily clad blonde woman.

The woman blinked several times and tried to look around her and into the house, “Um… is Jamie Fraser here?”

“Jamie? Oh yes,” Claire nodded, “He is. But I’m afraid he’s unavailable at the moment.”

“Oh,” the girl tried to look into the house again and Claire stood in her way. “Could you tell him that Abby wants to see him? I’m the neighbor from down the street” 

Claire looked the girl up and down, not threatened at all. “I might… if I find the time when he’s not fucking me senseless. “The girl’s mouth dropped and Claire smiled,

“Bye bye now.” She closed the door without bothering to listen to the blonde any longer and felt quite satisfied. There was only one woman in Jamie Fraser’s life and that was Claire Elizabeth fucking Beauchamp.


	8. A Trip to the Highlands

The past six months with Jamie had been a dream. Everything Claire ever wanted was now hers and to be in love with your best friend was the best feeling in the world. She didn’t know it was even possible, but her and Jamie had grown closer in the last few months. There wasn’t a secret or lie between them, something she hadn’t had in her previous relationship.

Jamie drove them to the Highlands and grinned as Abba came on the radio, slowly, he turned the music louder “Sing, Sassenach”

Claire laughed and shook her head, “In your dreams.”

“Aye, ye do sing in them,” He smiled and brought her hand to his lips. Claire put her finger in her mouth and made a gagging noise but then turned her head back to look at the window and started singing along quietly.

_“Take it easy with me, please_

_Touch me gently like a summer evening breeze_

_Take your time, make it slow_

_Andante, Andante”_

As she sang the lyrics to Jamie’s favourite song, Claire slid her hand along the inside of Jamie’s thigh and he nearly drove the car off the road, “Sweet Jesus,” he sighed.

_“Make your fingers soft and light_

_Let your body be the velvet of the night”_

“Claire if ye dinna move yer hand, then we’ll both crash and die… do ye want me to crash this car?” Jamie smirked and Claire only moved her hand higher and landed her palm on his crotch.

“You could totally stop the car,” She looked at him with a smirk, “It’s not like this road is very busy, anyway.”

He glanced over at her and looked down her body, seeing her nipples poking through her thin sweater –  _this woman never bothered with a bra and it drove him mad._ If he had to pull the car over to stop them from dying on the road… then so be it. The wheels slowed on the road as Jamie pulled them over to the side. Thankfully, he hadn’t actually seen anyone driving on the same road in a while.

“Ye best be quick about it then, Sassenach.” He smiled and Claire was climbing to the backseat faster than he could say ‘Sassenach’. Jamie managed to crawl to the back sat in the seat, pulling Claire onto his lap, his hands on her round hips. “Ye know… ye’ve got fine birthin’ hips, Claire.”

She hit him over the head, “Jamie Fraser, don’t you dare talk about my birthing hips when we’re trying to have sex in the back of your car!” Laughing, Claire started kissing along his jaw while Jamie’s hands worked on bringing them together.

The music continued to play and fill the car as Claire sank down onto Jamie’s cock. It was cramped, they both had to admit this wasn’t the most comfortable place but they were desperate for each other.  

“Did you ever do it in a car?” Claire looked at him, moving her hips in slow circles “Wait, no. I don’t want to know about it.”

Jamie chuckled and kissed her neck, his hands fondling her arse “Ye talk too much Sassenach.” 

Together they fit their bodies just so, rolling their hips and pressing their mouths to each other. And together they came as the music finished with, “Andante, Andante, Oh please don’t let me down”.

***********

The rest of the drive to their cottage was less… eventful, but enjoyable nonetheless. Jamie demonstrated his awful singing voice, much to Claire’s amusement, while she watched the scenery of the highlands she loved so much.

When they were teenagers they had taken a road trip with some friends to the Highlands. It was only two months after they had slept together for the first time and Claire had been so nervous, not that she expected anything to happen…

> _“Jenny, can I talk to you?” Claire tugged on her sleeve and they walked out of earshot of the rest of the group. They’d just gotten to the house they would be staying at and everyone was choosing their rooms._
> 
> _“Aye, what is it, Claire?” Jenny crossed her arms over her chest._
> 
> “ _Well, something happened between Jamie and me…” Claire was almost embarrassed to admit what they had done even if it was Jenny who had suggested it. She considered Jenny to be one of her closest friends because she had spent so much time at the Fraser’s._
> 
> _“Did ye two have sex? Is that it then?” Jenny smirked and looked over to where Jamie was standing. “And now yer nervous to be in the same house wi’ no parental supervision?”_
> 
> _“Perhaps,” Claire smiled shyly._
> 
> _“Do ye want to sleep with my wee brother again, Claire?” Jenny asked and Claire had to really think about it. Jamie was her best friend and while she wouldn’t have chosen anyone else to lose her virginity to, she wasn’t entirely sure they should do it again._
> 
> _“I’m not sure, I mean it was great, it was more than great -”_
> 
> _“Please! Dinna talk about it,” Jenny laughed._
> 
> _“Sorry,” Claire blushed._
> 
> _“If you want to, ye should… as long as he wants to which I’m sure he does. Jamie doesna stop talkin’ bout ye. But if yer no’ sure, Claire… I wouldna.”_
> 
> _“Really?” Claire looked over at Jamie and he waved his hand and smiled._
> 
> _“Aye, yer young after all and ye have plenty of time for that later, I dinna want to see yer heartbroken if ye decide to do somethin’ ye’ll regret later.” Jenny gave her a hug and together they walked back into the house. Claire didn’t think she would regret sleeping with Jamie again, in fact, she thought she would enjoy it just as much, if not more than the first time._
> 
> _Which is why, after a late night bonfire, Claire lingered by the fire and waited for everyone else to go to sleep. Jamie was the only one left, the golden fire illuminating his fiery curls on his forehead. She took a deep breath and stood, wrapping the quilt around her cold body and walked over to Jamie and he smiled up at her._
> 
> _“Sassenach, are ye no’ tired like everyone else?”_
> 
> _“No, I’m not tired, Jamie.” Silently she moved forward and sat on his lap, straddling his legs. Jamie made no protest, only slid his hands into the warmth of her quilt and up along her back._
> 
> _“I’ve wanted to kiss ye ever since that night… at the wedding.” Jamie sighed and leaned his forehead on Claire’s, who brought her hands to the nape of his neck. Slowly, they pressed their lips together and Claire felt the heat of the fire on his mouth._
> 
> _At first, it was slow and tender. Jamie didn’t want to push Claire further than she wanted to go and Claire wasn’t exactly sure what she was even doing, sitting on his lap like this. But she knew she wanted to taste his lips so she pressed her body to his and slid her tongue along his bottom lip – fuck John and fuck Annalise._
> 
> _But things couldn’t go further than that kiss because the door leading the house slid open with a bang and Claire jumped up and off Jamie’s lap. “Jesus H. Christ!” Claire whispered and gathered the quilt back around her body._
> 
> _“Jamie! There ye are lad, couldna find ye is all,” Ian smiled and waved to Claire before heading back into the house._
> 
> _“Well… shit.” Jamie laughed and stood from his chair and took Claire’s hand in his and they walked back inside the house._

“This cabin is so cute!” Claire exclaimed, walking around the place Jamie had rented for their stay. The place looked abandoned from the outside but the inside was completely renovated and smelled of pinewood.

“I’m glad ye like it, Sassenach” Jamie smiled and went to bring their bags into the bedroom. “We’re gonna have a great time, I’m sure.”

“Oh yeah, all the sex and all the dirty things,” Claire smirked, jumping on his back. Jamie grabbed under her thighs and walked forward towards the bed.

“Sassenach, ‘tis only been thirty minutes since our wee adventure in the car, are ye ready to do it again?” He laughed and dropped her onto the bed.

“Are you saying you don’t want to?” Claire laughed and slid her hand up her sweater and Jamie bit his bottom lip.

“Aye, I want to.” He jumped on the bed and tickled Claire’s stomach, making her curl up into a ball. Jamie stretched her limbs apart and set about making Claire come undone under his tongue.

*******

“What are we gonna do first?” Claire asked him as she ran her hand through Jamie’s thick curls. They were laying in bed, completely naked save the thin blanket covering their legs.

“Hmmm, well, we have to go for a hike. I’ll show ye my favourite spot.” Jamie arched his brows and kissed the tip of her nose.

“A hike?” She made a face, “When did you think I became someone who enjoyed hiking?”

“Well, I’ll walk behind ye so if ye fall I can catch ye.”

“You want to walk behind me so you can stare at my arse, Fraser.” She hit his chest lightly.

“Aye, and I dinna deny it,” He chuckled and grabbed her around the waist and rolled them to the side of the bed until she was on top of him.

“Don’t start what you can’t finish,” she smirked and rolled her hips against him.

“I can… can ye?” Jamie growled and thrust upwards and slid home. The sun dipped low in the sky as they made love again and again. One touch wasn’t enough, one taste could never be enough. They were insatiable… good thing they had the rest of their lives together.

***********

Claire agreed to the hike and spent her afternoon whining about it to Jamie who couldn’t help but laugh. He knew she hated this type of activity but the view had been all worth it – at least that’s what she had told him between her kisses.

“Ye deserve a good dinner because you were great on the hike today, mo chridhe” Jamie smiled, handing her a glass of red wine. He was wearing a  _“kiss the cook”_  apron and Claire obliged, sealing this lips before accepting the glass.

“You are the perfect man, do you know that?” She smiled, leaning on the counter and watching him cook. The smell of arrabbiata sauce hanging in the air.

“If I say yes, I’m going to sound like an asshole,” Jamie said making her laugh “So I won’t answer and instead ask ye to taste the sauce”

“I’ve been waiting for this” Claire leaned up and carefully tasted the sauce on the spoon Jamie held in front of her mouth “Mmh, delicious, let’s eat on the porch for once it’s not raining”

“Aye, bring the wine, I’ll come wi’ the plates in a minute” Jamie smiled and handed Claire the two glasses of red wine before she walked out of the kitchen and to the porch. It took Jamie a couple of minutes to join her and smiling, he sat down next to her. “Have a nice meal, Sassenach”

“You too” Claire sealed their lips and sighed happily. Jamie, pasta and the highlands, she didn’t need anything more to be happy. “I love coming to the Highlands so much”

“Aye, so do I, I canna help but think of my mother whenever I’m back in Scotland.” Jamie smiled sadly, the pain of his mother’s sudden passing the previous year still raw.

Claire took his hand and lead her head on his shoulder “I think of her too, often but even more now that we’re here. You know, she was so proud of you”

Jamie brought her hand to his lips “I hope so…I remember when I was a wee lad, I was in love with my mother until I met a feisty curly headed lass who stole my heart and never gave it back”

“I did that?” Claire looked at him with a clueless expression

“Aye ye did and Ellen Fraser was the first one to ken about it”

> _“Ye are too quiet lad, ye dinna have a good day at school?”_
> 
> _“I had” Jamie mumbled, his eyes fixed on his cup of chocolate milk._
> 
> _“Ye said your first day had been great, why do ye look so desperate? And what answer are ye expecting your milk to give ye?” Ellen smiled, sitting down next to her red-headed son._
> 
> _Jamie looked up at his mother and sighed, resting his face on in his palms “I am in love wi’ a girl, Mam, but she barely noticed me today”_
> 
> _“A lean, it was the first day, give her some time. Maybe she is simply shy. Ye ken the first day in a new class can be daunting” Ellen stroked his hair back “What’s her name?”_
> 
> _“Claire”_
> 
> _“Oh, Sorcha” She smiled “That’s the Gaelic word for light”_
> 
> _“I dinna think I will impress her much wi’ that comment, she is already verra smart and all”  He sighed, exasperated with himself._
> 
> _“Ye can still try it” Ellen kissed his head  “When I was a wee lass, my mam told me I would ken the right man when I’ll see him and she was right. When I saw yer Da, I knew he was the one”_
> 
> _“Will I become a disgusting adult who kisses all the time?” Jamie asked, making a face. “Like ye and Da??”_
> 
> _“Aye, ye most likely will” She grinned and tickled Jamie, making him laugh. “But wait a wee bit before ye start kissing, lad”_
> 
> _“Ew! I willna kiss Claire, at least no’ on the mouth Mam” He laughed and held his mother tightly._
> 
> _“Alright then, but do you plan to marry her someday?” She smirked_
> 
> _“Aye, that I will!”_

“I told uncle Lamb you were freaking annoying, staring at me all the time and throwing paper balls at me. Just for your information, that wasn’t good flirtatious moves” Claire smirked and kissed him.

“Was it no’? Ye’re here now, Sassenach, I think it means my moves worked just fine” Jamie whispered against her lips, making her melt into his touch.

“Maybe they worked…” Claire responded, licking his bottom lip.

Jamie reluctantly pulled back and reached for the plate of pasta “Less talkin’, more eatin’” Smirking, he started to feed her.

“If this is your way of making me shut up” She chewed and grinned, “Not working, either, but this pasta is to die for. You are now obligated to cook for me forever.”

“Forever?” Jamie raised his eyebrow, “It’s a long time, Sassenach.”

“Actually, it is quite a long time.”

“Aye but I dinna think it will be long enough for me”  Jamie put the plate away and took her hand, his blue eyes locked with her whisky ones “Sorcha…thank ye for comin’ to the Highlands wi’ me”

Claire smiled warmly “Thank you for bringing me and just for being awesome. I don’t know what I would have done without you after what happened with John”

“A long time ago, I promised ye I would protect ye for the rest of my life, Claire, I dinna make promises lightly” His thumb gently stroked the soft ivory skin of her cheek “I love ye, mo chridhe and I dinna want to see ye hurt, Christ, I can bear pain myself but I canna bear yers”

“I have known you for twenty years and in this crazy world, ye are the only constant in my life, Claire…ye’re the only thing that makes sense to me,” Jamie smiled.

“Oh Jamie,” Claire’s eyes watered as her emotions got the best of her, “I think… I will love you until the very end of time.”

Setting down his fork, Jamie grabbed Claire’s hand and brought them both to stand. “Will ye dance wi’ me, Sassenach? Under the stars, out in the open?”

“Yes, I would love to,” Claire smiled and leaned against Jamie’s chest as he held her tightly and they spun in slow circles, not to the sound of music but to the sound of their own heartbeats frantically beating. If only they could go back in time, start over and realize sooner how in love they were with each other. But all that mattered now was that the truth was out.

Jamie slid his hand over the small of Claire’s back and he let go of Claire’s hand. He slipped his hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out a small box. He kissed her quickly on the cheek before taking her hand and spinning her around in circles and by the time Claire stopped spinning and looked at Jamie, he was down on his knee.

“Claire…” Jamie held up the small box and opened it to reveal a beautiful diamond ring, “Yer my whole world… have been since we were seven. It may have taken us a long time to get to this point but I know that I need ye. I love ye and I will keep lovin’ ye until I take my last breath on this earth.” Jamie felt tears threaten to spill, “Even after I die… I’ll keep lovin’ ye for all of eternity because one lifetime is not enough time wi’ ye, Sassenach.”

Claire was speechless and her hands trembled slightly as she realised she needed to give him an answer. Jamie was her whole world, just as he said since they were only seven years old. Her first marriage was far from perfect but she would bet good money that her second one would come close.

“Yes!” She smiled and held out her left hand, “Yes, Jamie Fraser… I will marry you!”

Jamie slid the ring onto her trembling finger and picked her up by the waist and lifted her off the ground, spinning her around. “Sassenach… Christ, I love ye.” He kissed her and tasted the salty tears as Claire’s mixed with his own.

***********

They couldn’t make it to the bedroom so the couch would have to do. Jamie carried Claire back into the house and laid her down on the soft cushions. His hands came to cradle her head and he kissed her softly and then placed a kiss along her jaw and down the length of her long neck. Claire’s fingers didn’t tremble as she unzipped his jeans and tugged them off his hips. She needed to feel him, touch him, have him possess her.

Jamie kissed her delicate collarbone and slid his tongue across her warm skin. Arching her body up to meet his, Claire moaned as his hands pulled at the hem of her dress and quickly it was off her body. His mouth nibbled on her breasts while his hands felt the curves of Claire’s hips fit exactly into his touch. They were made for each other.

There was no rushing, no fevered clawing at the other but a sweet and tender touch here and there as they worshipped their bodies. They would have forever.

Claire leaned up on her elbows, “Jamie, I need you inside me.” 

Smiling, she brought her newly ringed hand up to cup his cheek and she smoothed her thumb across the stubble of his cheek. Jamie unbuttoned his shirt and it joined the pile of their clothes on the floor. Claire slid her hand between their bodies and took hold of Jamie’s hard cock and pressed it gently against her slit.

“Christ, Sassenach.” Jamie breathed heavily and kissed Claire slowly and deeply as he rocked his hips forward, inch by inch sliding his cock into her warm centre. Once he was sheathed inside, Claire brought one leg up and wrapped it around his hips, pushing him deeper.

“Oh God,” she moaned and gripped onto the back of Jamie’s neck as he thrust forward and their bodies met, touching in a sweet embrace. Jamie’s thumb found her clit and he moved it in a steady circle, applying just the right amount of pressure to make Claire squeak.

Her hand squeezed his arse and she pressed her lips to the side of Jamie’s warm neck as he breathed against her. Low grunts were slipping out of Jamie’s mouth every time she pressed her hand against him. She arched her back off the couch and met each thrust with a roll of her hips. Jamie put one hand on the side of her waist and together they became one, moving in sync.

“I can’t – Jesus…” Claire moaned and her head fell back against the pillow as Jamie’s thumb rubbed against her clit. He leaned forward and kissed her as her body began to tremble and as he felt her walls clench around him, Jamie uttered something in Gaelic before spilling himself into her. It took all his strength not to crush Claire with his body but they managed to twist and lay side by side on the couch, still joined.

“I canna wait to do that wi’ ye forever, Sassenach.” Jamie smiled and kissed the tip of her nose.

“I can’t either. And we can try out every available surface in the house,” Claire grinned and started giggling as Jamie raised his eyebrows.

“Just where exactly do ye picture us, if ye dinna mind me askin’?” He shifted on the couch making Claire squeak.

“Well,” her fingers pressed against his chest, touching his auburn hair, “There’s the kitchen counter, the floor of the kitchen, the bath, the shower, the window still, the -”

“Okay, aye… I get ye are a horny wee thing.” Jamie laughed and kissed her quite thoroughly. “Maybe let’s start wi’ round two on the couch?” He pressed his hips forward and grabbed the back of Claire’s thigh, sliding it over his.

“Yes please,” she sighed and melted against the heat of him. When she wasn’t touching him, she wanted him. For so long, her hand ached to hold his, to claim him and now she could. Jamie Fraser was all hers and she couldn’t wait to shout it to the rest of the world.


	9. The Courthouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well folks, we’re slowly finishing this story. This will be the last chapter before the epilogue next week, hope you’ll love it

Claire felt like she was walking on a cloud ever since her engagement – so much so, she didn’t even dread going back to work to eventually see John or Frank in the halls. Jamie on the other hand… he had different feelings towards John. Not to say that Claire wasn’t still furious with John, but she felt at peace as if finally the universe was working in her favour.

“Promise you won’t say anything, Jamie. At least not here,” Claire said as they walked hand in hand down the hallway at work.  

“I promise I willna say a word,” Jamie said, his lips drawn tight together.

“I just want to be in our happy bubble for a little while longer,” Claire smiled, rubbing her thumb over Jamie’s. He squeezed her hand back, giving her a warm smile.

“Aye, I want that too, Sassenach.”

That bubble would burst, however, the moment Jamie spotted John and Frank walking towards them in the hallway. John was engaged in a conversation with Frank and didn’t see Jamie as he let go of Claire’s hand and stalked forward, intent on his prey.

“Jamie!” Claire shouted but it was too late. His arm swung back and then landed solidly on John’s jaw, making a nasty crunching sound. Papers were sent flying and someone’s coffee, probably Frank’s, landed on the ground next to John and Jamie who were hitting each other. Or rather… Jamie was hitting John.

Claire knew not to try and stop Jamie, once his mind was set on something, he was determined. Even if the face he was hitting was her ex-husband’s. She also knew she was about to heal that hand in her office and sighed. She couldn’t even be mad at Jamie for breaking his promise.

Eventually, it was Frank who separated them, but only because Jamie was losing his breath, giving up the fight. Claire ran to them, pulling on Jamie’s arm to stand behind her, “That’s enough.”

“Christ, Jamie,” John muttered, blood spewing from his bruised lips.

“Ye know what you did, John. I’ll never forgive ye for it. Maybe Claire can, but I canna. Ye never deserved her,” Jamie spat back at him and turned, heading in the direction of Claire’s office.

Claire just looked at John and the blood staining his shirt, raised her eyebrows and followed Jamie to tend to his injured hand.

“If you get fired over this, I’ll kill you, Jamie,” Claire said exasperatedly as they made their way to her office. Once inside, she threw her satchel onto the chair and looked for some disinfectant and wadding.

“Are ye mad?” Jamie asked, mumbling his words. His hand was aching but he didn’t regret what he had just done. Quite frankly, if Randall hadn’t stopped him, he could have kept on going. 

“I’m sorry I broke my promise, I dinna ken what came over me, when I saw John somethin’ came over me and I couldn’t control myself…”  Jamie sighed. 

“But I didna say a word to him…” He grinned over at Claire, “at first.” 

“Ha ha ha, you have a great sense of humour, Fraser” Claire shook her head, opening the disinfectant bottle, “Your hand is hurt, I’m not happy about that for sure.”

“But ye dinna mind John getting a good punch, eh?” His grin widened and Claire couldn’t help but look at him, smiling.

“You’re a fool, James Fraser but I love you for it.”

“Aye, I guess I must be doing somethin’ right” Gently, Jamie pulled her closer with his undamaged hand, his eyes begging for a kiss. Claire bent her head, placing a gentle kiss on his permanently smirked lips. She pulled back, rubbing her thumb across his bottom lip.

“What am I going to do with you, Jamie?” Claire smiled warmly.

“Weel… I hope ye’ll keep me forever, Sassenach,” Jamie moved his hand around to her arse, squeezing it firmly, “Cause I’d like to keep ye forever.”

“You’re the cheesiest man I know, Fraser.” Claire laughed, all while pushing her hips against him. “But I love cheese, I’m rather fond of dairy actually.”  

Putting some product on the wadding, Claire carefully cleaned his wound.

“Good to know, Sassenach. I’ll supply ye wi’ various dairy products to keep ye happy and well pleased wi’ me,” Jamie smiled, running his finger along the curve of Claire’s firm arse.

“I’ll need another kiss because I didn’t wince when ye healed my hand even if the product burns a wee bit,” He grinned and she laughed.

“You are a child,” She grinned and put the bottle away before wrapping her arms around his neck and placing a kiss on his forehead, the tip of his nose, his cheek and then, finally, his lips.

Claire wanted to stay there with him, but she looked over at the clock on his desk. “Christ, I have a class in ten minutes.” She kissed him briefly on the mouth before grabbing her bag from the chair.

“Oh! Sassenach, I forgot to mention this, but Jenny asked if we could watch wee Ian and Maggie tonight, are ye up for it?” Jamie asked as Claire stood in the doorway.

“Of course! That sounds… exciting,” Claire laughed, blew a kiss to Jamie and headed out to run to her class.

**********

Claire had never been great around kids. First, she was afraid to have someone else’s life between her hands, she could barely keep plants alive, she didn’t have the pretension to think she would be able to do much more with a baby. Second, she had no patience. With John, she never really thought about having children, after all, her marriage had already been bad from the start, there was no need to bring a child into it and to have it damaged by its parents’ mistakes.

Watching young Ian and Maggie meant they would order pizza and hence, she wouldn’t have to cook which was always a good thing. Plus she got to eat dairy, double bonus. Jenny had explained her birth in excruciating details one day and Claire still felt faint recalling what her sister in law had said.

> _“It really… rips down there?” Claire asked, shocked._
> 
> _“Oh aye, but everythin’ hurts so ‘tis nay a bother really,” Jenny said casually._
> 
> _“Christ, I don’t know if I could ever go through something like that.” Claire sighed, a slight shiver running down her spine._
> 
> _“The pain is worth it though when ye hold yer wee bairn in yer arms for the first time. When ye see their face, and ye know ye’ll love them and protect them no matter what. Tis’ so special to look at someone with such gratitude and love and have the feelin’ returned in abundance” Jenny smiled. “And ye forget the pain after the birth, which is why ye have another bairn and another.”_
> 
> _“You make it sound wonderful, Jenny,” Claire said. “But I still don’t know…I had Lamb and Raymond but I don’t know if I could be a good mother.”_
> 
> _“Ye’ll know Claire when the time is right if ye’re meant to have kids. Ye’ll know.” Jenny smiled, patting Claire gently on the knee._

“Uncle Jamie?” Young Ian said with a mouthful of pizza, “Can ye tell me a story before I have to go to sleep?”

Jamie took a gulp of his beer, “Aye, lad. What kinda story? A romance to be sure,” he grinned and Ian stuck his tongue out in disgust.

“Okay, Maggie is all clean” Claire exclaimed happily, walking back into the dining room and holding the baby. “Who knew pee could make a nappy so heavy,” she gave Maggie a soft back rub.

“Maggie is the smelliest wee bairn ever,” Ian said, looking over at Claire.

“Tis no a verra nice thing to say about yer sister, lad,” Jamie said, giving him a stern look, but Claire could see the amusement in his eyes. Ian just shrugged and continued to stuff pizza into his mouth.

“I’ll go put her down to sleep,” Claire said, walking over to give Jamie a kiss and sliding her tongue across his bottom lip. “Mmm you taste like sauce,” she smirked.

Young Ian watched them and made a face “When will I turn disgustin’ like that?”

“Next year,” Jamie looked over at Ian and his cheeks blushed bright red. “You’ll fall for all the lasses,” he smiled. “And they’ll fall for ye.”

“Gross, I hope no.” Ian’s eyes went wide.

“Let’s leave the boys to their rubbish talk, Mags,” Claire said with a grin and placed a kiss on the baby’s head before going upstairs.

“Are all the lasses like auntie Claire?” Young Ian asked casually before taking another bite of his pizza.

“Och no, yer auntie is one of a kind. Good luck finding one like her,” Jamie grinned “But I was your age when I met her.”

“Really?” The child’s eyebrows raised in surprise.

“Oh aye, we were in the same class.”

“I kissed a lass named Rachel once, it wasna verra pleasant because she ran away,” Ian sighed exasperatedly.

“Weel, yer untie Claire didn’t like me in the beginning and it took me twenty years to be wi’ her so be patient lad,” Jamie chuckled, messing up his nephew’s hair.

“Love seems complicated,” Ian took the last bite of his crust and leaned back in his chair.

“I canna fault ye there,” Jamie smiled “But it’s worth it.”

Ian watched his uncle and chuckled. He didn’t understand why adults were taking things so seriously at all times.

“Go wash yer hands and run upstairs instead of making fun of me,  if ye’re done eatin’, ye’ll have a bath and then a story.” Jamie wiped his hands on his pants and started to clean up the remnants of dinner.

Just then Claire walked downstairs, almost tripping over a running Ian. “That wasn’t so bad,” she sighed and took a seat next to Jamie on the couch.

“Nah, they’re well behaved. They have to be wi’ a mam like Jenny,” Jamie kissed her temple, pulling her close.

“Jenny is a great mom,” Claire smiled, nuzzling his neck.

“Ye’ll be a great mam someday too, Sassenach,” Jamie said seriously.  

Claire sighed “I’m not sure…I never had that maternal feeling even if I always wanted children. I like kids but when I know I’ll give them back to their parents at some point,” She laughed weakly, running her hand across Jamie’s chest.

“Do you want kids though, Jamie?” She asked, turning her face to look at him.

“Aye, I would like to be a father. But I dinna want to pressure ye into somethin’ ye wouldna want,” he kissed the tip of her nose.

“I would want them… with you.” She said softly, “Perhaps with time, I have to admit you are quite sexy when you hold a bairn.”

Jamie made a Scottish sound and kissed her gently. “We dinna need to be talkin’ of kids just yet, mo cridhe, we’re no even married yet.”

“Speaking of,” Claire sat up then, taking Jamie’s hand in hers. “When did you want to get married exactly?”

“Weel, tomorrow is the weekend and I dinna particularly want to wait much longer to call ye my wife,” He grinned, “10 am at the courthouse?”

Claire bit her bottom lip, thinking, “Hm tomorrow, eh?” It had been 20 years of living without the full function of her heart, so why not? “Let’s get married tomorrow!” She smiled and jumped into his open arms.

**********

Claire sat in the courthouse waiting room in a white pantsuit she had purchased years ago for god knows what occasion. Her hair was her usual mess of curls and she didn’t bother with more makeup than normal. It didn’t matter what she looked like, as long as she was marrying the man of her dreams.

“Are you nervous?” She leaned towards Jamie with a grin,

“Should I be?” He raised his eyebrow “Are ye planning to run away?”

“Maybe,” She nudged his arm and chuckled. “On my first wedding day,” she squeezed his arm, “I almost called it off.”

“I didna ken that. I mean… I saw ye before in yer dress,” Jamie said.

“I was coming to find you, to tell you how I felt and I hoped you felt the same,” she rubbed her thumb on his cheek.

“I did feel the same, Sassenach. I was just blind and too dumb to admit it. I shoulda ran after ye, I shoulda chased ye down and begged ye to marry me instead, God I wish I would have,” Jamie kissed her.

“But we made it, after all the years and heartbreak in between. It’s just you and me,” Claire smiled against his lips. “Nothing can tear us apart.”

“Nothin’, I promise ye” Jamie smiled and kissed the tip of her nose.

“Fraser,” said the woman behind the window. Jamie stood up, holding Claire’s tightly in his and together they followed the woman behind a door and down a long hallway. They asked Jamie’s godfather, Murtagh and Claire’s brother, Joe to be their witnesses and they both followed closely behind.

It wasn’t a lavish ceremony, simple vows were read, but the love in that room was immense. It wasn’t very long, either,  as other couples were waiting to be married too but they didn’t care – after twenty years of misunderstanding and missed connections, all that mattered to the couple was to be mated for life. 

The moment the judge said the words  _“You are now pronounced husband and wife”_ , both Claire and Jamie thought their hearts were going to burst.   
  
20 years were nothing compared to the eternity they were now going to spend together. They kissed slowly, almost shyly as if it was the first kiss they had ever shared. “I love you, darling,” Claire whispered against his lips.

“And I love ye, mo nighean donn,” Jamie held her close, “Mrs Fraser.” 

“Took ye long enough,” Murtagh grinned in the background and they both laughed, full of happiness.

**********

“SURPRISE!”

The last thing Jamie and Claire were expecting when they got home was to find their families gathered in the decorated living room. Joe’s grin told them everything they needed to know about who was responsible for it.

“I know you two said it was just a tiny affair at the courthouse but I couldn’t let everyone else not party with us,” Joe smirked and handed them both a glass of champagne.

“We’ve been waitin’ twenty years for that,” Jenny grinned and hugged them both tightly.

“Aye, ye ken I like to take my time,” Jamie smirked, holding her close.

“A bloody long time, James Fraser.” Claire said, “Not that anything was standing in your way of course,” she then added sarcastically.

“I would say ‘Welcome to the family’, Claire but ye’ve been a part of the Fraser’s for nigh on 20 years. I’m so glad to be able to officially call ye a Fraser though, darling.” Brian kissed her sweetly on the cheek, and Claire had to hold back her tears at her father-in-law’s kind words.

“Let’s celebrate youtwo and all the love in this big family,” Lamb raised his glass and winked.

Claire couldn’t believe her eyes. Joe had hired some catering and Ian was busy being the DJ while everyone enjoyed the intimate party in the middle of their living room. Lamb was right, they had been a big family all along, ever since she had met Jamie and they will be for years and years to come.

The party lasted late that night and once everyone had left, the newlyweds had been too drunk to do much more than get undress and fall asleep in each other’s arms with happy smiles on their faces and full hearts.

**********

Claire woke slowly, her eyes still closed and her hand resting on top of Jamie’s chest. He was breathing steadily, with his hands folded over his stomach and Claire smiled as she opened her eyes to find that she was the first one awake. She had recently discovered in the time that they’d been sharing a bed, that Jamie rose very early and woke at the slightest sound.

Moving her fingers lightly across Jamie’s arm, she saw a small smile creep on his lips. Claire touched the smooth silver band that matched her own on Jamie’s finger, remembering the previous day’s event. Married. They’d actually done it.

Slowly, she moved her hand down across Jamie’s stomach, keeping a watchful eye on his closed eyes. His skin was soft and his muscles were toned as she kept moving her hand under the covers to his thighs. A slight twitch from Jamie almost made her stop, but he sighed and rolled his head to the side. Smiling to herself, Claire moved her hand over Jamie’s cock and found that it was already hard, but not fully erect.

If he was awake now, Jamie didn’t show it, so Claire moved her hand slowly over his length, giggling to herself.

“Are ye tryin’ to kill me, woman?” Came Jamie’s groggy morning voice from the pillows.

Claire laughed, then removed her hand so she could climb on top of him and straddle his hips. She bent her head and placed a kiss to his lips. “Good morning, husband.”

Jamie moved both his hands to squeeze her arse, “If this is how my wife wakes me up every morning, I think I’ll like married life verra much.”

“Oh don’t get used to this,” Claire smiled, kissing his lips. “This is a one-time thing, Mr Fraser.”

“One time?!” Jamie gasped, all while moving the sheet down and pressing his hips up. “What can I do to persuade ye?”

Claire leaned up, placing both her hands on his chest. “First… you can lay still.” Smirking, she took hold of his now fully erect cock in her hand and moved it across her slit. They both sighed at the contact, and Jamie bucked his hips forward.

“Then…” Claire sat up slightly and then sank down on his cock, taking him inside of her, “You can move your hips.”

“Aye, I can do that,” Jamie groaned. He moved one hand across the expanse of her back and pulled her chest down to his to capture her lips to his own. Their tongues swirled together slowly as Claire rolled her hips. Jamie pushed his hips up to slide deeper inside of her, and she moaned, leaning her forehead on his chest.

“Sorcha,” Jamie cried out, holding onto her as tightly as he could.

“Oh, darling,” Claire moaned and pressed her mouth to Jamie’s.

Their bodies joined together in every way possible, and they were one. Jamie rolled them to the side and still joined, their arms moved slowly across one another’s bodies.

“I’m so happy, Jamie.” Claire grinned lazily.

“Ye’ve made me the happiest man in the world, Sassenach. How do I deserve ye?” Jamie kissed her nose.

“Never let me go,” Claire sighed and pressed her head into the crook of Jamie’s neck.

“Och, I’m never lettin’ ye get away, Sassenach. Ye can be sure of that.” Jamie kissed the top of her head, “Yer mine, mo nighean donn. Mine… now and forever.”


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 8 years later...our Frasers are happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read this story and left feedback, we are so thankful you guys loved our stubborn Frasers

“Elias, what on earth are you doing?” Claire called in the staircase, “If you don’t come down now you’re going to be late for school!” **  
**

Elias, seven, was pure Fraser -- apart from the dark curls on his head. He was tall for his age and had the funniest accent but more importantly -- he was stubborn as a mule. 

“I dinna wanna go,” He sighed, walking downstairs, “I’m sick, ken?” He coughed to illustrate his fake illness.

* * *

 

“Elias William Jules Fraser, you’re not sick,” Claire grinned, “So hurry and put on your coat, your father and I will walk you to the museum.”

“But I dinna wanna go,” He sighed, sitting on the stairs, “Tis’ no fun.”

“You love going to the museum, what’s happening?” Kneeling down as best as she could, given she was six months pregnant, Claire stroked her son’s cheek.

“No I dinna like it,” He shrugged, “And tis’ always the same things.”

“Well it’s an activity with your class, you have to go,” Claire gave a gentle pat to his back.

“I’m sick,” He repeated and coughed -- barely able to hide his mischievous smile.

“Put your coat on,” Claire chuckled and kissed his nose before getting up and going to the kitchen, “Jamie?”

“Aye, sassenach?” Jamie was finishing up cleaning the kitchen and smiled warmly before pulling his wife close, “What can I do for ye?”

“I was just inquiring to see if you were ready to go?” She chuckled and sealed their lips, “Elias isn’t thrilled about the museum trip.”

“Och, tis’ no good but I’m sure he’s simply shy because it’s his new class and school only started three days ago,” Jamie grinned.

“You’re right,” Claire patted his arm, “Let’s go before he runs back upstairs and locks the door or something. Those Frasers are a handful,” She smirked.

“God help us wi’ another one on the way,” Jamie chuckled and stroked her belly before leaning down and placing a kiss on it, “Morning ween, tis’ yer da.”

“Jamie seriously, how many times can you say good morning to my bump? You’ve done it four times already today and we’ve been up for an hour,” She laughed, stroking his head, “Come on, we’re going to be late!”  
 **  
********

The walk from their house to Pitt Rivers was well known to both Jamie and Claire as they took it together every day to drop Elias to school and go to work. In the last eight years, they both cut back on some hours to be able to spend as much time as possible with their son and soon too, their daughter

Elias held his mother’s hand on one side and his father’s on the other as they walked together. Claire knew her son and he was too quiet, “Darling?”

“Yes?” Both of the Fraser boys turned to her and she chuckled.

“I meant Eli, sorry honey,” Claire quickly kissed her husband’s cheek and looked down at her son, “What’s the matter with you? You know you can talk to us about everything, right?”

“Aye, I know mamma.”

“Then what is it?” Both Jamie and Claire stopped and looked at their son with a reassuring smile.

“I think I’m in love,” Elias mumbled, sitting on a bench nearby and resting his head in his palms, exasperated.

Claire looked quickly at Jamie with a smirk before joining Elias on the bench, “And why do you seem so sad about it?”

“Cause I dinna think she loves me back,” He sighed, looking at his mother, “Actually, I’m sure she doesna love me back!”

“Why are ye so sure about it, lad?” Jamie sat down too and stroked the little boy’s brown curls back, “Lasses can hide their feelings verra well,” Quickly, Jamie glanced over to Claire and grinned. His attempt at winking made her laugh softly.

“Why are ye laughing?” Elias looked at his mother confused, “Tis’ no funny, love hurts!”

“I’m laughing because your father can’t wink, not because I find your situation funny,” Smiling, Claire pulled him on her lap, “He’s right, lasses often make you think the contrary then what they are actually feeling.”

Elias shook his head and sighed, “I’m confused, there is no point to that.”

“No there isn’t, girls just love to be complicated but trust me, if you think she doesn’t like you, it means she does.” Claire stroked his head softly.

“Aye, tis’ true son, yer mam is right.”

“She’s always right, Da,” Elias looked at his father and grinned while hugging his mother tightly.

“I canna fault ye there,” Jamie laughed and tickled him.

“Okay you two, stop it, we need to go, we’re late now,” Claire laughed and attempted to pull Elias to his feet.

“But mamma!” Elias suddenly shouted.

“Yes?”

“What should I do about Emma? Tis’ the girl I love,” He smiled warmly, his eyes glazing over slightly. Claire had seen this look before… in a very young Jamie Fraser, but of course, back then she hadn’t realized what that look meant.

“Show her she’s afraid of something more than being with you,” Claire said simply.

“And that is?” Elias raised his eyebrow, confused.

“Not being with you,” Claire said, looking up at Jamie, who’s cheeks blushed bright red.

“Mamma tis’ all too complicated, I’m only seven!” Elias said, and as they approached the school he stopped once again. Jamie and Claire stopped and followed Elias’ line of sight and stared at a little girl with brown hair.

“Is that her, lad?” Jamie asked, squatting so he was at eye level with his son.

“Aye, ‘tis.” Elias took a deep breath. “Isn’t she bonny?”

“Verra bonny,” Jamie confirmed, “Now… ye canna stay wi’ us. It’s time ye go and say hello to the lass.” Jamie stood and put both his hands on his son’s shoulders, giving them a light squeeze.

“You’ll be fine darling!” Claire shouted at Elias as he took small and slow steps towards the rest of the children.

Jamie wrapped his arm around his wife and pulled her close as they watched Elias shyly starting a conversation with Emma, “The lad is smitten.”

“Apparently Frasers like to fall in love quite young,” Claire smirked and stroked his back slowly, “With him and then the lass on her way, we’re going to have a lot on our plates.”

“The lass is no’ getting a boyfriend ever, she’s goin’ to be a nun,” Jamie said in all seriousness, before smirking, “She’s gonna work for Jesus and that’s that.” 

Claire laughed, nudging him, “She’ll have all the boyfriends she wants and with a six-foot-tall father, I doubt boys will be too eager to break her heart, don’t worry about that.” She rubbed her hand across his arm around her waist, “You’re like a bloody Highland warrior, Jamie.”

“Remember when that was us, Sorcha? Young and naive?” Jamie smiled as he watched his son stand in the line beside Emma and carefully reach for her hand. 

“I do,” She smiled, resting her head of curls on his chest, “I knew I would marry you back then, I just did not know when.”

“Aye, ye say that now,” Jamie chuckled.

“I can’t believe you ate my oatmeal cookie that day, it was dreadful,” Claire stuck her tongue out in disgust.

“If I’m bein’ honest wi’ ye, Sassenach,” Jamie started to laugh and Claire turned slightly in his arms to look up at him, “I hate oatmeal cookies. I just wanted somethin’ that was yers...but now I found somethin’ better to have for breakfast.”

“Oh, is that so?” Claire quirked up her brow and turned fully in his arms, kissing him on the mouth.

“Aye, I intend to enjoy my full English breakfast every morning,” Jamie laughed, burying his face in the crook of Claire’s neck.

“I don’t know if I can handle cooking up a full English breakfast for you every morning, my lad.” Claire tangled her hands in his mop of curls. “But I too… have found a good Scottish thing to have for breakfast,” Claire laughed and Jamie pulled his head up and joined in her laughter.

“We’re so dirty, Sassenach,” Jamie said, wiping a stray tear from his eye.

“The baby just kicked, I think she’s embarrassed by us,” Claire pulled Jamie’s hand over the swell of her belly.

He stood still, waiting for the bairn to kick again and then smiled broadly as he felt the little push from inside his wife’s belly. “Aye, if anyone heard us talkin’ they would think we really love breakfast food.” Jamie smirked, and then bent his head to kiss her belly, “Mo cridhe, my wee one.”

“Darling, we’re going to be late for class,” Claire stroked his hair back, the sight of her husband so sweet with her bump almost making her heart combust.

Jamie looked up at and grinned, “Let’s skip class and go home, mo nighean donn, I ken a couple of things we could be doin’ that are more interesting than work.”

“Right because both of us missing work is not going to be suspicious at all,” Claire chuckled and took his hand, “But fine, let’s go home so you can massage my feet.”

“And fondle yer arse, eh?” Jamie smirked suggestively.

“That too,” Claire pulled him and started to walk back to their house.

“Do ye think the lad will be alright wi’ his crush?” Jamie asked.

“Hopefully these two have a better timing than us,” Claire sighed and then looked up at Jamie. “But we got there in the end, didn’t we?”

“Aye, we did. Took our sweet time about it, but yer the one I’ve impregnated wi’ two bairns, Sassenach so I’ve no complaints about my life,” Jamie grinned.

“You know how I feel about the word impregnated, Jamie,” Claire rolled her eyes but couldn’t hide her smile. “I wouldn’t change our little tale even if I had the chance,” she placed a quick kiss on his lips as they kept walking.

“Maybe… a few things though, aye?” Jamie squeezed her hand and they both laughed.

“Right, but just a few,” Claire sealed their lips once more.

“Claire? Ye ken I want twelve bairns right?” Jamie said seriously.

“Ye ken ye can piss off, right?” She grinned, smacking his bum, “Four is as much as I agree to compromise.”

“Five,” Jamie grinned and lifted her up bridal style once they arrived in front of the house. “And that’s as high as I’ll make ye go, Sassenach.”

Claire ran her thumb across his cheek, “Fine. Five… Fraser bairns it is.”

Jamie carried his pregnant wife across the threshold of their home, kissing her softly on the mouth, “I love ye, Claire. Always have… and I always will.”

“And I love you,” She whispered against his lips.


End file.
